by Emma | Feb 25, 2020 | Blog, Heart Words, Spirituality
Sometimes there isn’t any light. She knows it’s there. She knows that if she just choose to see it, she would, yet there’s a stronger part of her that wants to embrace the sadness, the meaningless, for a time.
Maybe in the hopelessness, there is hope, or at least faith. Maybe having a choice, knowing there is always a choice, provides more relief than she realised. Knowing that if there is one, there must be the other, knowing that letting go, can also facilitate holding on.
And so she emerged the other side of her tears. Tired, weary and feeling less than sure-footed she allowed herself to slowly see the light again. She allowed herself to be held, and loved, and reminded that there is always meaning, there is always light, and there is always love.
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Feeling bad doesn’t mean any of the things we often tell ourselves it means. It just means we chose (on some level), to embrace our shadow for a while. What would it look like if we chose to see the light for a while now instead?
by Emma | Feb 23, 2020 | Blog, Heart Words, Relationships, Resources, Spirituality
Two quotes are really playing over and over in my head today. I’m not sure why, but I’ll share them with you anyway, for whoever needs them… “I am not here for your understanding of who I am. I am here for your understanding of who you are. I am your mirror. How you feel about me, what you see in me, the thoughts that arise from your encounter of me, the judgements you hold about me, are all reflections of you. They have nothing to do with me.” ― Emily Maroutian, Thirty: A Collection of Personal Quotes, Advice, and Lessons
And, “I am here only to be truly helpful. I am here to represent Him Who sent me. I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He Who sent me will direct me. I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me. I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal.” – A Course in Miracles, T-2.V.A.18
by Emma | Feb 16, 2020 | Blog, Heart Words, Self-Worth
She made a decision, a long time ago, not to settle. She had lost, felt left behind, and been hurt too many times. She knew that the only way to change this was to choose differently for herself: to choose better.
And yet, she repeated the same patterns for many years to come. She choose again, chose better, lost herself, found herself, and chose again. As a pattern, it was tiring, and boring, and all together frustrating as hell, and she also knew that each time she realised she’d lost herself, she was a step closer to staying with herself longer the next time.
She chose again, she chose the challenge. She chose to stay, and work, because being afraid of life wasn’t something she was willing to accept any longer. So even if it was hard, even if there were tears, even if she had to course-correct another 100 times, she would continue to consciously choose better for herself: to choose love instead of fear
by Emma | Feb 13, 2020 | Blog, Confidence, Heart Words, Self-Worth, Spirituality
Maybe it was possible to find peace without contrast. Maybe you found peace IN the contrast?
Maybe, as she experienced the edges of her comfort zone, it was possible to discover her peace, even in the midst of the discomfort, in the situations and experiences that scared her, brought out her desire to defend herself, or brought on a weariness that made her want to run away to the comfort of a life less interesting, and all together less inspiring.
Maybe that was the goal: not to be happy with everything, but to be able to find her centre, her own source of peace and comfort, even when faced with the random human challenges of day to day life?
My journey in Bali has only just begun, and yet it’s already pushed so many of my buttons; physically, emotionally and mentally. I am grateful for more opportunities to clear the blocks to love, despite how it feels at the time.
I have gone to sleep the last couple of nights with scary flashbacks every time I close my eyes, and feeling the most unsettled I’ve felt in a long time. So is the journey. So is the practice. I haven’t done yoga since I got here and my body felt it when I finally made one of the longest paddle outs ever this morning on my new board with half the volume I’m used to. And. I did it.
I spend my time chanting sanskrit mantras in my head when I’m riding my scooter because it terrifies me, and remind myself that all is well, and everything is as it should be, for my highest good.
I catch the stories I tell myself and the judgements I make about any and every situation, relax my shoulders, and breathe.
I am so far from having it ‘figured out’, and yet, I still find myself with faith, trusting that I’m in the right place, being of the most service to my clients, and excited to start my ICF Coach training tonight thanks to the power of the internet, even in the remote corners of Bali. Whatever we learn individually, benefits the collective
by Emma | Feb 10, 2020 | Blog, Heart Words, Self-Worth
It’s not about what’s best for the other person at the expense of yourself. If you think like that you’ll miss the point.
Do what’s best for yourself – not your ego, but your heart. Use your heart as a compass to express your true self, authentically, and whatever comes to pass will be for the good of all.
Struggling with boundaries because you want to be compassionate too? Holding a boundary you know someone is struggling with means you stop them hurting you. When we hurt people, we hurt. We feel guilt and shame. When you stop someone hurting you, you’re saving them from that guilt and shame, whilst also looking after yourself.
I’m just starting to settle into Bali, seeing clients again and I feel like I have been travelling for weeks, so it’s been a while since I felt strongly about sharing anything. I’m getting there, and getting back to myself and being present to life feels good, as does knowing that in 4 days time I start my PCC ICF Coach training with Coacharya
by Emma | Jan 14, 2020 | Blog, Heart Words, Relationships
She reached out her hand. Not sure if he would understand, not sure if she would be accepted, not sure if he knew what she wanted, but she offered it nonetheless. All the conversations had been had. She just offered this, herself, a connection, a bridge between two people. A hope for some sort of silent recognition. This, yes this, was all that was needed. He didn’t need to fix anything, or change something, or find the right words to say. He just needed to take her hand, and let her know he understood.
To those of us who have often taken up the role of the Fixer, or the Rescuer, know this: your loved one isn’t sharing their pain so you can be a hero. They’re not sharing it because they need you to take away their pain. They’re sharing because it feels lighter when someone sees them, when someone acknowledges, Yes. I know this hurts for you. I’m sorry you’re hurting. What can I do?
When you forget to ask what you can do, and sit with your own need to rescue, instead of recognising their need to be seen and heard, to have someone tell them it’s OK to feel how they feel, what they hear is this: “You’re feelings are bad. I can’t handle you being sad. It makes me too uncomfortable so you have to stop. I feel impotent unless I have an active role, so I’m going to follow my own agenda to do what I think I need to do to fix this. It doesn’t matter what you need. My needs are the most important. I’m not listening to you.” I know you don’t mean this, but this is what they hear. You don’t need to rescue or be a hero, you need to give her what she’s missing – compassion, and an allowance to take up space, however she feels. Give her back the control she feels she has lost in the midst of her pain.
If this resonates, or you want to understand more about how this all looks in practice, let’s chat about how we can work together – I offer 121 coaching online and am taking on new clients now
