As it comes up to four years since I moved to Portugal with one suitcase (and Tilly, six months later), I have been reminded of a vision board I made, probably around 2014. I’m not really a vision board person, but I guess I thought there was no harm in trying it.
That vision board had a cute puppy, a home by the water, sunshine and good coffee. I remember visualising what I wanted life to look like, as I made my daily commute with my face in another person’s armpit on the Central Line in London. I imagined waking up, walking my dog by the sea, and having coffee at a café with a sea view, where people knew my name. It wasn’t anything extravagant, but I couldn’t see how it would happen at that point.
Not knowing how something will happen is good in a way. You get to release the control over how it will happen, and instead cultivate a sense of trust in the miracles that show themselves when we allow love in.
It’s been a few years now since all of that came to fruition and became my daily life. I am very privileged, in almost every sense, but I also don’t think this life happened through accident, luck or manifestation.
I have spent nearly fifteen years in consistent (weekly or fortnightly) therapy (yes, privilege). I have also worked consistently and diligently with the teachings of A Course in Miracles for over a decade. That’s not a specific formula for everyone to follow, but it is a dedication to clearing out the judgements, resentments, anger, fear and general junk that we collect over the course of our lifetimes. That is important work. You don’t have to do it in therapy, but when it shows up, if you don’t want it to keep following you about and blocking you, it needs healing and releasing.
You can visualise what you want, focus only on the positive and push through, but I think that’s only part of the story. When we consistently take small actions towards love, peace, and joy, whether that be leaning into a painful part so we can offer it compassion and heal, or practice tuning into and following our own inner alignment and guidance towards love, we allow ourselves to experience moments of rest, calm, and peace. We do this enough, and we gather enough moments for it to feel like our life.
You get to curate your life. You choose, in every moment, how to see the world, and which direction to turn. No matter how your life looks now, or how it feels to be in it, you have the opportunity to find peace again.
It’s been four years…
