The blog

thoughts from me to you
Stop forcing what isn’t flowing

Stop forcing what isn’t flowing

This goes against what many motivational speakers will tell you, but from what I've seen (and experienced personally) the happiest people are those that are in flow with what is, not fighting against it trying to force something to be the way they think it should...

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Is your pain great enough?

Is your pain great enough?

Your feelings are valid. There will always be people going through seemingly 'worse' situations than you. Their experiences are valid too. Feelings are not mutually exclusive, they are not in competition and they are not only allowed to be experienced by one person at...

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Triggered

Triggered

I had an eating disorder in my early twenties which, although awful, I was able to recover from.Every now and again, with certain triggers, I get the urge to starve myself again. It's a coping mechanism which I understand now and can even appreciate or at least have...

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Surviving and thriving

Surviving and thriving

Affirmations don't work.If you have any kind of belief that conflicts with whatever you're trying to tell yourself in any way, your RAS (reticular activating system) will throw that puppy right out the window so as not to cause any internal conflict. The way to change...

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On hopelessness and surrendering

On hopelessness and surrendering

A friend asked me the other day if I had ever felt overwhelmed when meeting a client for the first time and hearing their 'story' or the reasons why they were seeking support. Honestly, overwhelmed, no. In awe, deeply honoured and humbled....yes.When someone shares...

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When nothing makes sense

When nothing makes sense

Our brains like to make sense of things. It's why as children, if we experience abandonment or trauma, we often internalise it as being our fault, because our brains need answers and our cognitive ability isn't able to understand the wider context.We take things...

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Something on loss

Something on loss

Something on loss:When we lose someone, or perhaps even a beloved pet, there is often an urge to 'fill the hole' left with another person, a new relationship, a new pet. That strategy can seem to work temporarily, but when you put your happiness outside of yourself,...

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Healing miracles

Healing miracles

There's a couple of miraculous moments that happen in a healing process, when you know all the tears, all the frustration, blame, guilt and shame, and all the work you've been doing to heal them are finally starting to make a difference.The first is when you notice...

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The answer

The answer

Something that I've found helpful to work with the last week or so....A Course in Miracles is annoyingly clear when it comes to how to respond to others. Everything....everything is either love, or a call for love. That means if something doesn't seem loving, if...

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