What if the thoughts you’re hiding are the ones keeping you stuck?
Welcome to Monthly Musings
This is the first of my monthly reflections exploring A Course in Miracles through a therapeutic lens. Some of you are long-term ACIM students; others might be newly curious. I’m focusing on practical application rather than philosophical debate – I’m interested in what happens when we actually apply these teachings and notice if we feel better as a result.
A note if you’re new to the Course:
ACIM uses terms like God, Holy Spirit, and Jesus, mostly in the masculine. Despite appearances, it’s neither Christian nor aligned with any religion (you’ll understand this more as you study). If these terms don’t work for you, substitute “love,” “universe,” or whatever resonates.
The Teaching
Here’s a quote that always lands for me:
“For in private thoughts, known only to yourself, you think you find a way to keep what you would have alone, and share what you would share. ⁵And then you wonder why it is that you are not in full communication with those around you, and with God Who surrounds all of you together.” (ACIM, T-15.IV.7:4-5)
The principle: When we focus on keeping parts of ourselves separate, we feel separate.
ACIM says this is technically impossible – we’re all joined, one mind – but we believe we can compartmentalise. We think we can hide pieces of ourselves while still experiencing genuine connection. We can’t.
People respond to this teaching in two ways:
- Dismissal: “That’s nonsense – I’ve kept plenty of secrets and no one knows.”
- Terror: “Wait, everyone will be able to read my mind?!”
Neither captures what’s actually being said.
What This Actually Means
The world we see reflects our internal beliefs, including our judgments. What we judge in others eats us up inside the same way self-judgment does. Whatever “secrets” we think we’re hiding show up in our experience anyway – because they’re rooted in fear, hatred, or pain. (Love doesn’t need to hide.)
Here’s how projection works:
If you secretly believe “I’m a fraud,” you’ll perceive others as seeing you as fraudulent. Your hidden thought becomes the lens through which you interpret every interaction. The shame you won’t look at creates the very judgement you fear.
Your “private” thoughts aren’t private at all – they’re shaping everything.
How This Shows Up in Therapy
The biggest manifestation I see? Shame.
As I write this, the phrase “digging your own grave” comes to mind. The moment we decide to hide something, we send ourselves a message: There’s something wrong with this. We attach shame to it, and to ourselves.
We tell ourselves we need to hide things because others won’t understand, will judge us, or will be upset. The ego has endless excuses ready, all designed to keep us separate and defensive.
However, if we believe people will judge us, we hold that belief – and that’s what we experience. We think hiding is the solution, but our brain internalizes a further belief: If I can’t share this, there must be something bad about it. The shame cycle deepens.
A client example (hypothetical):
She came in saying, “I don’t know why my partner feels distant lately. I haven’t done anything wrong.” But when we explored, there was a “private thought” she’d been having for months: frustration about who was doing what chores around the house. She’d convinced herself it wasn’t worth mentioning, that she was being petty, that bringing it up would make her seem demanding.
That unexpressed thought wasn’t private. It was showing up as withdrawal, terseness, eye rolls she didn’t even notice. Her partner felt the distance but didn’t know why. The “private” resentment was creating the exact disconnection she feared.
When she finally named it – first to herself, then to her partner – the relief was immediate. Not because the issue was solved instantly, but because the secrecy dissolved. They could actually address what was real instead of dancing around what was hidden.
The Path Forward (Not What You Think)
At this point you might be thinking: “So your answer is to blurt out every thought with abandon?!”
No. That would be a disaster.
ACIM never advocates for anything that brings genuine sacrifice or suffering. We live in the world we’ve created, and it’s very real to us. If we believe we’ll be punished for honesty, we likely will be. So we go gently. We use discernment. We ask: What feels most loving here?
Sometimes the most loving thing is to say nothing. But increasingly, it might be to find a way toward greater honesty, transparency, and freedom.
The work isn’t about confession – it’s about illumination.
Begin to notice what you hide and why. What beliefs are you holding about the world, and how loving do they feel? You get to release thoughts that invoke fear and ask for another way to see them.
The less you hide from yourself, the more forgiveness you offer yourself, the easier it becomes to be honest with others. Because it’s never really about fearing what others will think – it’s about facing what you already think about yourself and having that reflected back to you.
Practice Invitation
This week, try this:
- Set an intention (written or mental) to become more aware of the private thoughts you hold separate – from others, but also from yourself and from love.
- As you notice them, imagine them being illuminated by soft golden light. Look at each thought without judgment, with curiosity. Allow it to be there, held in love.
- Say to the thought, and then to yourself:
“I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.”
(Ho’oponopono prayer) - Say to yourself:
“I’m willing to bring this thought to the light for healing. I’m open to seeing things differently.” - Stay for a few moments in that light (which can extend to encompass all of you). When you’re ready, open your eyes.
The thoughts you’re hiding – even from yourself – are the ones keeping you stuck. What if bringing them to light, gently and with love, is the path to freedom?
Next month: “The past can’t hurt you.”
What resonates? What questions are coming up for you? I’d love to hear in the comments.
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I am grateful for this posting. Have no doubt it will help me let go of negative assumptions about a relative who in the past has hurt multiple people I care about. Been estranged from this person for 10 yrs. now.
There’s something I want to share here in case it helps your readers. I’m in my twilight years and have been working on being present each day rather than reliving my past. However, I’m keeping the love lessons I’ve learned from every person I’ve meaningfully encountered. I empathize with my grieving self over loved ones gone… my second husband, my youngest sibling, two friends who died, and someone I loved at a college retreat who was sent to Vietnam (his letters stopped months later).
In February 2020 (as COVID began), a year after my beloved husband was diagnosed with a rare aggressive cancer, I was handing a woman bus fare money when her dog bit me. Ended up in hospital for a week w/o visitors. My husband wasn’t allowed to come because he was getting Immunotherapy treatments.
After I returned home too many people responded to my dog bite story by saying, “Well, you know what they say, ‘No good deed goes unpunished.'” That comment hurt so I came up with a comeback line chosen from a song on the final episode of SMASH Season 1 —
“If something good can come from bad the past can rest in peace.”
I’ve long been searching my past for hidden wis-bits. Every life lesson can become a love lesson.
I love this LS – thank you for sharing it. It is interesting to observe the different sayings we have picked up over the years and see if they actually serve us or make us feel good. There is always an opportunity to see with love <3