by Emma | Dec 6, 2019 | Blog, Heart Words, Relationships
This is the moment. Right now. After all the things, and before all the things. Now.
Take me on a journey with you, just for a moment. Let me look into your eyes and know you. Let me know you without all the lies you tell yourself, and all the lies you tell the world about yourself. Let me know you as who you are: pure, true, peaceful, loving, kind….still.
No matter what has happened, these are your qualities. These are in you. They are in all of us. I see them. Let go of whatever is stopping you from seeing them too.
P.s. I miss Tilly! She’s been living it up in Wales whilst I’ve been in Portugal but I get to see her in just over a week
by Emma | Dec 5, 2019 | Blog, Heart Words, Relationships
There was something, aside from the practical help people offered, that felt just as precious: the being there, the allowing of her, and all her feelings, to just be, and be held.
To be allowed to cry, or feel in whatever way she needed, and not be told that everything was going to be ok, or given the best options for how to not feel that way anymore, this was precious.
For how often is it, we meet people who are comfortable enough with themselves to sit with our uncomfortableness, and give it space, without trying to stop it or change it into some more manageable for them?
If you have a friend in need, listen to them. Ask them what they need. Let them cry. Don’t tell them it’ll be ok or to dry their eyes or try to fix things. Tell them you’re there for them. Ask them what they’d like, and listen to the answer.
P.s. I’m ALL GOOD, I just felt like sharing this today
by Emma | Dec 1, 2019 | Blog, Confidence, Heart Words, Relationships
Perhaps, she realised, it wasn’t about the boundaries that everyone kept going on about, it was about knowing within herself who she was and what she wanted. Maybe, when she knew who she was and what she needed, wanted and desired, it would be easier to ask for those things, instead of expecting others to magically figure it out or demanding them agressively so they felt attacked.
Perhaps, when you opened up, others felt safer to open up too.
Perhaps, when you took responsibility for how you felt, rather than telling someone else they were wrong, it gave space for constructive discussion, rather than defensiveness and distance.
Perhaps, by learning about her own triggers, and healing them, she was able to better show up in the relationship, instead of placing blame or staying in victim mode.
Perhaps, it wasn’t about being too much, it was about showing up as herself, and seeing who came to the table to meet her
by Emma | Nov 24, 2019 | Blog, Confidence, Heart Words, Relationships, Self-Worth
‘I like that you talk’. So often I have been told that I talk too much, that I should stop, think before I speak, not say what’s in my heart, hide away the self-sabotaging patterns I’ve worked so hard to shift, basically not bring all of myself to the table, because it’s too much for people to handle.
And then someone says that. ‘I like that you talk.’ It’s not the first time someone’s said it, and it won’t be the last, but it hasn’t been that common in my life up to now. And yet, I’ve persevered, because I felt like I couldn’t breathe when I tried to hide myself from the world. It was suffocating. So instead I got told I scared people away, or was too intense, until the odd person comes along and says, ‘Thank you. You make it easier for me to talk. I know where I stand with you. You say what you mean.’ That’s the most important thing, because, quite honestly, I don’t have time to be second guessing people. If I expect honesty and clarity from other people, if I want someone to tell me what’s going on for them, instead of being passive aggressive or expecting me to mindread, I’d better be willing to walk my talk.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Your heart will thank you.
.
.
Photo credit: @loveluella
by Emma | Nov 22, 2019 | Blog, Heart Words, Relationships, Self-Worth
It always surprised her, how many layers there were. It seemed like a never-ending journey, because it was, and she could understand why so many people chose to live in ignorance of themselves. It seemed so much easier sometimes. To shut her eyes to her many, many ‘imperfections’, her wounds and her triggers, and pretend they belonged to someone else, some environmental reason that caused her upset. If it was something outside of her, someone else’s fault, it was someone else’s problem. She could just remove herself and dampen the feeling of discontent a while longer.
But she didn’t have that luxury anymore. She realised now that everything was on her. Everything was her choice – to choose how to perceive it. To revel in the gift or dispair in the poison. She had that power, and everytime she chose to deny it, she gave her power away: gave her power to the person, or the place, or the job, and put it outside of herself where she couldn’t use it.
She wasn’t doing that anymore. She had allowed herself to breathe into situations, conversations, energy that challenged her every pore….and looked, with curiousity instead of fear, at which patterns she found herself wanting to follow. When she allowed herself to be curious, when she allowed herself the space to feel the patterns instead of fearfully burying them, she gave herself the space to choose differently, to give a voice to what was present, and honour it as part of her, before choosing a different path. This, she realised, was how to change the pattern
by Emma | Nov 21, 2019 | Blog, Heart Words, Relationships
She was so tired of her own mind creating problems. So tired of making meaning of things, and holding onto judgements so she could remain frustrated and annoyed with others and the environment. What good did it do her? Was it helpful for her to continue to hold so tightly to her righteous indignation of the arbitrary concepts of right and wrong?
And of course, the answer was no. So what was she to do, with the judgements and the opinions and the righteous indignation, except let them go?
To be in the moment, in breathing out without the heaviness of holding on to something which caused her only pain, she felt peace. In the release of the contraction, there was the space she’d been trying to create through force and pushing and the changing of things that are, how they are.
In the space, she realised the peace was there all along, and felt grateful for the annoyance that allowed her to find it
