by Emma | Feb 27, 2020 | Blog, Resources, Self-Worth, Spirituality
I’ve worked with more than one client recently who realised that they were choosing to hold onto their own pain. They could see the light…just….but it was under a layer of pain that they were choosing on some level to hold on to.
Whenever I have more than one client experiencing the same thing, it’s normally an invitation to look within myself as well for the same thing. Where am I choosing to hold on to pain, instead of allowing it to transmute to love?
And the question then becomes….how do we ALLOW the pain to move (to transmute, shape shift, or move into the background)? For me, this work begins and ends in forgiveness. Forgiving ourselves, forgiving others, removing our judgements and opinions about victims and perpetrators, right and wrong and good and bad. Life happened. We had an experience. It felt painful. We saw it through the eyes of fear. How long do we want to continue to hold that pain? Will letting it in, accepting it and allowing it to move so we can see the light within, somehow mitigate or condone what happened?
It comes down to this: would we rather be right (I got hurt – I’m entitled to feel hurt), or happy (it happened, I don’t know why, so perhaps, I can see this situation with love instead of blame)?
by Emma | Feb 21, 2020 | Blog, Self-Worth, Spirituality
Last night in my coach training (which I’m currently taking between 10pm and 1am because of the time difference), we talked about being humble and curious when working with clients, and being more aware of our own judgements, bias and agenda.
Whenever I work with clients, I bring my whole self to the table. That doesn’t mean I share everything, but I am as transparent as possible, whilst recognising that the session isn’t about me – it’s about my client and what they’re experiencing. I don’t want to influence their knowing, understanding and insights in any way, just help them uncover them. I trust and know that only they know what is best for them.
And so, I am seeing so much affinity between what I’m (re)learning in my coach training, and what I understand from being a student and teacher of A Course In Miracles. When we can suspend our judgement, when we can recognise that we don’t know what anything is for, when we stop making meaning of things, or trying to make a situation fit into our version of what we want reality to be, we give ourselves the space for movement, for change, for feeling better, for feeling peaceful, for seeing through the eyes of love, instead of fear and ego.
I’m currently feeling into the best way to work with clients to get my logged coaching hours for accreditation (and whether this will be at a discounted rate). If you’re curious about working with me in a coaching capacity, where we can both learn and have profound growth, please send me a message and we can talk about how that might look.
Photo tb to Cornwall last March, cos I hear it’s pretty cold in the UK right now
by Emma | Feb 16, 2020 | Blog, Heart Words, Self-Worth
She made a decision, a long time ago, not to settle. She had lost, felt left behind, and been hurt too many times. She knew that the only way to change this was to choose differently for herself: to choose better.
And yet, she repeated the same patterns for many years to come. She choose again, chose better, lost herself, found herself, and chose again. As a pattern, it was tiring, and boring, and all together frustrating as hell, and she also knew that each time she realised she’d lost herself, she was a step closer to staying with herself longer the next time.
She chose again, she chose the challenge. She chose to stay, and work, because being afraid of life wasn’t something she was willing to accept any longer. So even if it was hard, even if there were tears, even if she had to course-correct another 100 times, she would continue to consciously choose better for herself: to choose love instead of fear
by Emma | Feb 13, 2020 | Blog, Confidence, Heart Words, Self-Worth, Spirituality
Maybe it was possible to find peace without contrast. Maybe you found peace IN the contrast?
Maybe, as she experienced the edges of her comfort zone, it was possible to discover her peace, even in the midst of the discomfort, in the situations and experiences that scared her, brought out her desire to defend herself, or brought on a weariness that made her want to run away to the comfort of a life less interesting, and all together less inspiring.
Maybe that was the goal: not to be happy with everything, but to be able to find her centre, her own source of peace and comfort, even when faced with the random human challenges of day to day life?
My journey in Bali has only just begun, and yet it’s already pushed so many of my buttons; physically, emotionally and mentally. I am grateful for more opportunities to clear the blocks to love, despite how it feels at the time.
I have gone to sleep the last couple of nights with scary flashbacks every time I close my eyes, and feeling the most unsettled I’ve felt in a long time. So is the journey. So is the practice. I haven’t done yoga since I got here and my body felt it when I finally made one of the longest paddle outs ever this morning on my new board with half the volume I’m used to. And. I did it.
I spend my time chanting sanskrit mantras in my head when I’m riding my scooter because it terrifies me, and remind myself that all is well, and everything is as it should be, for my highest good.
I catch the stories I tell myself and the judgements I make about any and every situation, relax my shoulders, and breathe.
I am so far from having it ‘figured out’, and yet, I still find myself with faith, trusting that I’m in the right place, being of the most service to my clients, and excited to start my ICF Coach training tonight thanks to the power of the internet, even in the remote corners of Bali. Whatever we learn individually, benefits the collective
by Emma | Feb 10, 2020 | Blog, Heart Words, Self-Worth
It’s not about what’s best for the other person at the expense of yourself. If you think like that you’ll miss the point.
Do what’s best for yourself – not your ego, but your heart. Use your heart as a compass to express your true self, authentically, and whatever comes to pass will be for the good of all.
Struggling with boundaries because you want to be compassionate too? Holding a boundary you know someone is struggling with means you stop them hurting you. When we hurt people, we hurt. We feel guilt and shame. When you stop someone hurting you, you’re saving them from that guilt and shame, whilst also looking after yourself.
I’m just starting to settle into Bali, seeing clients again and I feel like I have been travelling for weeks, so it’s been a while since I felt strongly about sharing anything. I’m getting there, and getting back to myself and being present to life feels good, as does knowing that in 4 days time I start my PCC ICF Coach training with Coacharya
by Emma | Jan 16, 2020 | Blog, Relationships, Self-Worth
Please stop thinking that by looking after yourself, you’ll hurt others or make them suffer. What is best for you, can only ever be what is also best for them.
If you create a boundary, you give them a structure, and allow them to make themselves accountable for their actions. You stop them from hurting you, and consequently give them the opportunity to be more loving.
By choosing a direction which disappoints another, you allow them the space to heal and accept that which wasn’t in alignment for either of you.
By following your heart, you allow others to see your light, and, by default, recognise their own.
My highest and best and your highest and best are always aligned, even when it might not seem like it straight away
