How are you?
Are you OK? How are you really?
I’ve had more conversations and ‘I’m concerned about [insert person’s name here]’ with people I care about this week than I have in a long time. I’m seeing people admitting they’re not OK, confide in me about wanting to or actually hurting themselves, heavy drinkers drinking even more than normal and recreational drug takers recognising their desire to use as a way to get away from what they’re feeling. I’ve been reaching out in my support network for even more support than usual because, well, these are unprecedented times and my mental wellness is essential for my….mental wellness?? (and obviously my work). And yet, I had an interview with week with @Coacharya (my coaching school), where we talked about how mental health is still so stigmatised that people still find it hard say when they’re not OK.
Sometimes they have a handy friend (ahem) who they know is totally OK with confessions of uncontrollable crying, numbing out, self-destructive substance / alcohol abuse, and sometimes when they finally say I’m not OK, they realise they’ve been holding it in for weeks, but didn’t know how to name it or what to do with it, and it feels like such a relief to admit it.
So this is my little PSA to myself and you, that your mental health is important, and just because everyone is going through difficult times right now, you are also entitled to your feelings, they are also valid, and it’s definitely OK to ask for support and to say you’re not OK if you’re not
Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha
Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha – Mantra for Ganesh, the Remover of Obstacles.
Usage: when you’re ready to let go of anything that might be holding you back and want a fresh start / new beginning.
Every time your mind goes wandering, tells stories of the past that aren’t teaching you anything new, or stories of the future that are made up and may or may not ever happen, interrupt yourself with this mantra. Repeat it often, ideally 108 times as a form of meditation
The way to become…
Learn to love who you are, so you can be who you want to be.
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There are still some low cost coaching opportunities up for grabs – if you’re interested in a one off or course of sessions to remember how amazing you are and what you’re capable of, send me a dm.
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Photo: @loveluellaphotography
Forgiveness in ACIM
The clearest explanation of the problem with forgiveness – from my ACIM teacher @jenniferhelenhadley :
Who taught you how to forgive?
What did they teach you?
How did they teach you?
Most of us were taught forgiveness from our family. And many of those who taught us taught us that forgiveness means you’re tired of being upset, and you don’t want to torture yourself anymore, but you’re never going to forget what happened. But that’s not true forgiveness. That’s fantasy forgiveness. And without true forgiveness there’s no way you’ll ever feel free and be able to stop the suffering and move on.
In order to understand what true forgiveness is, it helps to understand what forgiveness is not.
Forgiveness isn’t saying “I forgive” and still holding onto your opinions about what happened the past.
Forgiveness isn’t saying that what happened is okay and you don’t mind that it happened.
Forgiveness isn’t opening yourself to further hurt and betrayal.
Forgiveness isn’t something you can do with your intellect.
Forgiveness isn’t pretending that what happened didn’t hurt, or bother you.
Forgiveness isn’t just keeping calm and carrying on.
And most especially, forgiveness isn’t looking at something devastating and destructive that happened, labeling it bad and horrible and then saying “I forgive.” That’s insanity. It’s false just like the little child who says “I hate you” to his parent, but doesn’t mean it for one second. They’re just upset with what happened, they feel attacked, and their interpretation of what happened (that they were were attacked) justifies their retaliation. That’s the immature, ignorant and painful way of the world.
True forgiveness isn’t labeling something bad and wrong and then saying “I forgive it.”
That’s self-delusion.
When you say “I forgive” and it still bothers you, then you know for sure that you are clinging to your interpretation of what occurred. We cling to our opinions and judgment, our labels of things because we made them. Again, this is what children do. They hold onto something so tightly and they project their interpretation onto every subsequent similar experience.
Cont. In comments
*LOW COST COACHING OPPORTUNITY*
*LOW COST COACHING OPPORTUNITY*
Some of you may know that I am in the process of gaining the ICF credential for my coaching work. This is no mean feat and requires a lot of time and investment on my part, including completion of a certain number of logged (not recorded) hours coaching genuine clients.
As this has coincided with the COVID-19 outbreak and the stress many of us are feeling as our lives change, I have decided to offer either one-off sessions or a course of life coaching sessions at a massively discounted rate. My hope is that this will serve both of us powerfully – you get transformational coaching to help you achieve your potential and move you forward in whatever area of your life you are currently feeling stuck, and I get to log my client hours quickly, in a way that feels supportive of our global community during a time of crisis.
If you’d like to take advantage of this offer, please comment below or send me a DM and we can go from there.
I’m offering these sessions for £20 (around $25) each instead of the usual rate of £111.
I look forward to supporting you 💕