by Emma | Apr 22, 2020 | Blog, Heart Words, Relationships
Your heart does not care what recognition you get for your helping. It doesn’t care what you look like when you do it, how much credibility you have or get, how much you get paid for it, or who will notice you do it. It knows that we can only truly give without attachment when we love ourselves, because we are one, and so to give IS to receive.
Your opportunity might not show up in the way your ego wanted or expected. It might not come in the form of a dream job or a volunteer opportunity at an elephant sanctuary.
But it will come, and your heart will know that this will help you, as well as others. Don’t dismiss the seemingly small opportunities to be helpful, they are what change the world
by Emma | Apr 3, 2020 | Blog, Relationships, Spirituality
Can physical distance bring you closer? Yes.
To yourself? Yes.
To others? Yes.
To the Truth? Yes.
There is no distance between the Truth and Love
by Emma | Feb 23, 2020 | Blog, Heart Words, Relationships, Resources, Spirituality
Two quotes are really playing over and over in my head today. I’m not sure why, but I’ll share them with you anyway, for whoever needs them… “I am not here for your understanding of who I am. I am here for your understanding of who you are. I am your mirror. How you feel about me, what you see in me, the thoughts that arise from your encounter of me, the judgements you hold about me, are all reflections of you. They have nothing to do with me.” ― Emily Maroutian, Thirty: A Collection of Personal Quotes, Advice, and Lessons
And, “I am here only to be truly helpful. I am here to represent Him Who sent me. I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He Who sent me will direct me. I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me. I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal.” – A Course in Miracles, T-2.V.A.18
by Emma | Feb 15, 2020 | Blog, Relationships
Sometimes it’s not about trying to take a bulldozer to the walls to break them down, it’s about seeing the walls, and just sharing that with the other person.
Connecting with people isn’t about getting them to open up, or forcing a conversation that isn’t ready to be spoken, it’s about sharing how you feel – to speak the elephant in the room to life, and just say, I know there’s an elephant here. I’m not ready to talk about it, but it’s here and I feel it and it’s not comfortable.
Will that change anything? Maybe not. But maybe, knowing that you both see the elephant, might just create a common ground, and a sense of connection where there wasn’t before. Maybe, it gives us space to breathe, and take the time we need to feel safe
by Emma | Jan 16, 2020 | Blog, Relationships, Self-Worth
Please stop thinking that by looking after yourself, you’ll hurt others or make them suffer. What is best for you, can only ever be what is also best for them.
If you create a boundary, you give them a structure, and allow them to make themselves accountable for their actions. You stop them from hurting you, and consequently give them the opportunity to be more loving.
By choosing a direction which disappoints another, you allow them the space to heal and accept that which wasn’t in alignment for either of you.
By following your heart, you allow others to see your light, and, by default, recognise their own.
My highest and best and your highest and best are always aligned, even when it might not seem like it straight away
by Emma | Jan 14, 2020 | Blog, Heart Words, Relationships
She reached out her hand. Not sure if he would understand, not sure if she would be accepted, not sure if he knew what she wanted, but she offered it nonetheless. All the conversations had been had. She just offered this, herself, a connection, a bridge between two people. A hope for some sort of silent recognition. This, yes this, was all that was needed. He didn’t need to fix anything, or change something, or find the right words to say. He just needed to take her hand, and let her know he understood.
To those of us who have often taken up the role of the Fixer, or the Rescuer, know this: your loved one isn’t sharing their pain so you can be a hero. They’re not sharing it because they need you to take away their pain. They’re sharing because it feels lighter when someone sees them, when someone acknowledges, Yes. I know this hurts for you. I’m sorry you’re hurting. What can I do?
When you forget to ask what you can do, and sit with your own need to rescue, instead of recognising their need to be seen and heard, to have someone tell them it’s OK to feel how they feel, what they hear is this: “You’re feelings are bad. I can’t handle you being sad. It makes me too uncomfortable so you have to stop. I feel impotent unless I have an active role, so I’m going to follow my own agenda to do what I think I need to do to fix this. It doesn’t matter what you need. My needs are the most important. I’m not listening to you.” I know you don’t mean this, but this is what they hear. You don’t need to rescue or be a hero, you need to give her what she’s missing – compassion, and an allowance to take up space, however she feels. Give her back the control she feels she has lost in the midst of her pain.
If this resonates, or you want to understand more about how this all looks in practice, let’s chat about how we can work together – I offer 121 coaching online and am taking on new clients now
