by Emma | Sep 29, 2019 | Blog, Confidence, Heart Words, Relationships, Self-Worth
Following on from my last post, I got told today that I was too much, too intense and required too much effort to be friends with. I nearly gave the guy a big F you but what I actually did was thank him for his honesty, leave, and cry on my friend’s shoulder.
I cried because sometimes, when someone inadvertently stabs at a wound, we question whether we should hold our head up high and be exactly who we are, no apologies….or look deep within ourselves to see if we’re triggered because they’re right, and we really are what they say.
I cried because I have been told many times, in many ways, that I am too much.
And then I cried because I realised that I had handled the situation less than gracefully, and less than I might have wanted.
Instead of being true to myself and speaking out about how I was feeling, I shrunk away and became uncomfortable in my own skin. I made myself small to make someone else feel more comfortable, and in the process, they felt my energy and determined I was too much effort to be friends with.
Being anything less than 100% yourself is a lose lose situation. It makes others just as uncomfortable as you are.
I learned such a valuable lesson today. I learned that, even though I knew it already, I could no longer suffocate myself for the sake of someone else. It just suffocates all of us.
I am a lot. I am intense with a big presence and I talk a lot about feelings and sometimes I get triggered and uncomfortable and it’s ok if that’s too much for some, but from now on, I will respect the other as well as myself by honouring myself, and letting them go the moment we feel it
by Emma | Aug 9, 2019 | Blog, Confidence, Relationships, Self-Worth
There is something sacred in being truly seen by another human soul. Having someone seemingly outside of you see your whole as so much more than the sum of your parts, and actually accept you, as you are, as whole and complete, without judgement or an attempt to change you, is the most incredible gift anyone has ever given me.
I hope that I have done the same for others, whether through counselling or romantic relationships, friendships, family, or people I’ve met seemingly randomly.
We all have an opportunity to extend peace and acceptance to someone else, and in doing so, we will be able to receive more peace and acceptance for ourselves.
P.s. I miss Sri Lanka, where I learned the most how to share my soul with others…and sit in the peacefulness of being seen
by Emma | Jul 2, 2019 | Blog, Confidence, Heart Words
One from the archives:
.
Do not underestimate me.
I can move mountains with a flick of my tongue.
I breathe fire and life into existence from the very images in my head and you,
You my friend, can do exactly the same if you choose.
Take off your blindfold, stop playing the victim, forgive yourself and trust that you too, have it all.
Look at the world again.
Look with innocent eyes, without the judgement and the pain of the past.
See what you would see if all you saw was love.
Then tell me I can’t, again, and watch me make it happen
by Emma | May 30, 2019 | Blog, Confidence, Self-Worth
A few things have happened the last few weeks (including discovering these filters). I had some moments doubting myself. I questioned if I was helping people enough, or in the ‘right’ way. I noticed how much mirroring goes on in our communities –...
by Emma | May 22, 2019 | Blog, Confidence
I don’t work for money anymore. That might sound stupid, given I charge my clients for counselling, but for the last few years I’ve consciously chosen to work because I want to help people, and because I love what I do, not because I want peoples’ money.
Now I’m able to make life and work essentially two sides of the same coin – everything is a question of what feels most loving and kind, whether that’s supporting my clients or having an impromptu bbq on the beach.
Maybe I’ve had the benefit of choosing to live a simple life and not having dependants, but a few years ago I looked at the way I was working – trying to sell big programmes and get people to commit to multiple sessions with me, so I could feel secure in my income. It felt off. It felt like, instead of being able to focus on helping people, I was focusing on what I needed from them.
Instead, I decided that I would work in a way that helped people, and made me feel good, and do whatever else I was guided to do and trust that because I was helping people, and doing my best to choose love over fear, I would be supported to continue to do so.
I appreciate that taking that leap of faith is huge and scary, but I can tell you that my practice tripled within three months or so of making this decision and consciously reaffirming to myself that I was supported. If I don’t have that many clients one month, I go do some volunteering or find another way to help. I keep reaffirming that I am supported. Without trying, my practice grew, perhaps because my energy was one of helpfulness instead of fear and needing, who knows.
Every now and again I have a quiet month with my clients (because I ask them to book when they want instead of forcing them into a regular contract) and those lack and scarcity thoughts creep in. In those moments, I ask myself, do I want to respond to this from a place of love (how can I be more helpful?) or from a place of fear (what can I do to get the money in?). No matter what is happening, I trust that it is an opportunity for me to choose love, and more and more, I am (it’s working out way better than when I kept choosing fear). Cont. In comments…
by Emma | Apr 6, 2019 | Blog, Confidence
Stop looking back. Stop thinking about the past and using it to determine your future. Look forward. What do you want? Head in that direction
