by Emma | Dec 11, 2019 | Blog, Confidence, Self-Worth, Spirituality
Struggle is not synonymous with success.
We are so conditioned to believe the narrative that in order to be successful we need to have fought and struggled, that success doesn’t come easily.
Does this narrative work for you? If that wasn’t true, what story would you prefer? What if success was available independent of struggle? What if, success could be easy, or hard? What if there was space for a choice?
Question your beliefs. Every time something feels heavy, ask if it’s because of a story you’re telling yourself about what is. Change your story. You don’t need anyone’s permission to empower yourself.
Want someone to guide you through the process? Click the link in my bio to book a complimentary consult call – make success easier 💕
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Photo credit: @da1sybrown
by Emma | Dec 2, 2019 | Blog, Confidence, Heart Words
Maybe she didn’t have to label herself with an arbitary list of personality traits. Maybe she didn’t have to figure out who she was with the rigidity of not being able to change in the future. Maybe she was all of the things, all of the traits, all of the archetypes. Maybe she was capable of anything – the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’. Maybe if she let in the flexibility of flow and change, of honouring herself, her feelings and her response to the environment, she could hold herself with integrity, instead of creating conflict within herself.
Forcing behaviours, thoughts and feelings, because of internal ‘shoulds’ creeping up from lessons learned from past experiences, wise Gurus, parents and society at large, instead of allowing herself to honour what was present for her at the time, what felt true in this moment….did not feel good anymore. It did not feel like she was being a ‘strong independent woman’, or that she was ‘honouring her devine feminine’. It felt like she was fighting against herself, and it was tiring.
So, perhaps there was another way. Perhaps she could identify with all the things, as and when it felt right to. Perhaps knowing herself just meant being in integrity with herself. Being honest. Matching what she felt inside to what she chose to show the world. Maybe that was what being authentic meant. Maybe that way, she wouldn’t feel constantly in the wrong, doing the wrong thing, or doing the ‘right’ thing and wondering why it felt so bad. Maybe this was the answer.
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Photo credit: @loveluella photography
by Emma | Dec 1, 2019 | Blog, Confidence, Heart Words, Relationships
Perhaps, she realised, it wasn’t about the boundaries that everyone kept going on about, it was about knowing within herself who she was and what she wanted. Maybe, when she knew who she was and what she needed, wanted and desired, it would be easier to ask for those things, instead of expecting others to magically figure it out or demanding them agressively so they felt attacked.
Perhaps, when you opened up, others felt safer to open up too.
Perhaps, when you took responsibility for how you felt, rather than telling someone else they were wrong, it gave space for constructive discussion, rather than defensiveness and distance.
Perhaps, by learning about her own triggers, and healing them, she was able to better show up in the relationship, instead of placing blame or staying in victim mode.
Perhaps, it wasn’t about being too much, it was about showing up as herself, and seeing who came to the table to meet her
by Emma | Nov 24, 2019 | Blog, Confidence, Heart Words, Relationships, Self-Worth
‘I like that you talk’. So often I have been told that I talk too much, that I should stop, think before I speak, not say what’s in my heart, hide away the self-sabotaging patterns I’ve worked so hard to shift, basically not bring all of myself to the table, because it’s too much for people to handle.
And then someone says that. ‘I like that you talk.’ It’s not the first time someone’s said it, and it won’t be the last, but it hasn’t been that common in my life up to now. And yet, I’ve persevered, because I felt like I couldn’t breathe when I tried to hide myself from the world. It was suffocating. So instead I got told I scared people away, or was too intense, until the odd person comes along and says, ‘Thank you. You make it easier for me to talk. I know where I stand with you. You say what you mean.’ That’s the most important thing, because, quite honestly, I don’t have time to be second guessing people. If I expect honesty and clarity from other people, if I want someone to tell me what’s going on for them, instead of being passive aggressive or expecting me to mindread, I’d better be willing to walk my talk.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Your heart will thank you.
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Photo credit: @loveluella
by Emma | Oct 23, 2019 | Blog, Confidence, Heart Words
For all those moving through feelings of anxiety, or those who have loved ones who are…. “And this is the place….the place I hate….where my throat tightens and I feel uncomfortable in my own skin and sometimes it’s hard to breathe…. And I thought I was over this. Every time it happens I think I’m over it, and then it happens again. Over nothing. Old triggers. Boring wounds. The same shit.
I’m bored of myself. I don’t want this anymore. This isn’t protection. It’s poverty. It’s taking away from my life and making me forget how far I’ve come.
I am not this. I am not a feeling. I am not anxiety. I am peace. I am love. I choose love. I choose to be wrong. I don’t need to be right or feel justified in this. I can let it go. I can choose again. I do choose again
by Emma | Sep 29, 2019 | Blog, Confidence, Heart Words, Relationships, Self-Worth
Following on from my last post, I got told today that I was too much, too intense and required too much effort to be friends with. I nearly gave the guy a big F you but what I actually did was thank him for his honesty, leave, and cry on my friend’s shoulder.
I cried because sometimes, when someone inadvertently stabs at a wound, we question whether we should hold our head up high and be exactly who we are, no apologies….or look deep within ourselves to see if we’re triggered because they’re right, and we really are what they say.
I cried because I have been told many times, in many ways, that I am too much.
And then I cried because I realised that I had handled the situation less than gracefully, and less than I might have wanted.
Instead of being true to myself and speaking out about how I was feeling, I shrunk away and became uncomfortable in my own skin. I made myself small to make someone else feel more comfortable, and in the process, they felt my energy and determined I was too much effort to be friends with.
Being anything less than 100% yourself is a lose lose situation. It makes others just as uncomfortable as you are.
I learned such a valuable lesson today. I learned that, even though I knew it already, I could no longer suffocate myself for the sake of someone else. It just suffocates all of us.
I am a lot. I am intense with a big presence and I talk a lot about feelings and sometimes I get triggered and uncomfortable and it’s ok if that’s too much for some, but from now on, I will respect the other as well as myself by honouring myself, and letting them go the moment we feel it
