Maybe she didn’t have to label herself with an arbitary list of personality traits. Maybe she didn’t have to figure out who she was with the rigidity of not being able to change in the future. Maybe she was all of the things, all of the traits, all of the archetypes. Maybe she was capable of anything – the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’. Maybe if she let in the flexibility of flow and change, of honouring herself, her feelings and her response to the environment, she could hold herself with integrity, instead of creating conflict within herself.
Forcing behaviours, thoughts and feelings, because of internal ‘shoulds’ creeping up from lessons learned from past experiences, wise Gurus, parents and society at large, instead of allowing herself to honour what was present for her at the time, what felt true in this moment….did not feel good anymore. It did not feel like she was being a ‘strong independent woman’, or that she was ‘honouring her devine feminine’. It felt like she was fighting against herself, and it was tiring.
So, perhaps there was another way. Perhaps she could identify with all the things, as and when it felt right to. Perhaps knowing herself just meant being in integrity with herself. Being honest. Matching what she felt inside to what she chose to show the world. Maybe that was what being authentic meant. Maybe that way, she wouldn’t feel constantly in the wrong, doing the wrong thing, or doing the ‘right’ thing and wondering why it felt so bad. Maybe this was the answer.
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Photo credit: @loveluella photography