The blog
thoughts from me to you
Trying to be a good person
'Trying' to be a good person misses one key fact: there are no good or bad people, just people acting out of integrity with themselves and out of fear. It also implies that there's a right and wrong way to behave, and some how you've been programmed to behave wrongly....
Relationships
I'm on the first weekend of a training for me to learn how to facilitate therapeutic groups. Understandably a big part of this training is around group dynamics and becoming really aware of our own processes and how we all affect each other.Reflecting on this and how...
What would love do?
A Course in Miracles teaches us that the world we see is a reflection of our own inner state. It also teaches that giving and receiving are the same thing, because we are the source of our own experience, so when we give to others we are really giving to ourselves. So...
Make healing easier
Perhaps there's an argument that putting a band aid (plaster for the Brits amongst us) on a wound won't fix anything. It will simply give the wearer the ability to pretend everything is OK and allow them to mask their feelings and pain.This is absolutely true. We...
Boundaries and Surrender
Boundaries, surrender, flow and autism is an interesting mix. As someone who really advocates for strong boundaries, I also understand that they only work if you really believe in them. All the parts of you have to be agreed that this boundary is a non-negotiable. I...
Acceptance vs Understanding
New clients often tell me that they know logically what's happened or why, and so they can't understand why they still feel or behave in a certain way. Like rationalising something should somehow automatically 'fix' the emotional side.Unfortunately, those two sides of...
Surrender
I'm currently working with a dog trainer for my dog Tilly. Moving to another country and culture having lived a pretty quiet life in rural Wales is an adjustment for us both and having some guidance and support so she feels safe and secure is super important for...
Inconsistency
There's a negative connotation that is associated with inconsistency. We seem to think that we have to show up in whatever way consistently in order to do well in whatever we're trying to do. I also say the same thing to clients with therapy - show up consistently...
Why don’t I feel good enough?
(one possible reason)If we grew up in a household with tension, but perhaps we didn't understand why, our child brains went looking for an answer as to why things didn't feel good. Since we are reliant on our parents / caregivers to feed and take care of us, we don't...