‘Trying’ to be a good person misses one key fact: there are no good or bad people, just people acting out of integrity with themselves and out of fear. It also implies that there’s a right and wrong way to behave, and some how you’ve been programmed to behave wrongly. If you have to ‘try’ to be a good person, it means somehow you are going against a part yourself and your instincts in order to do so. This will only create inner conflict as you abandon whichever parts of yourself feel they need to behave in the ‘bad’ way in order to protect you and keep you safe. This is exhausting for you. It is also exhausting for others to be around and witness because it rarely works.

Instead, trust that if you can practise tuning into yourself and follow your heart (what feels most peaceful?), that this will always lead you to loving and ‘good’ actions and behaviours. It will also highlight which parts of you are scared and need love and healing to feel safe to stand down (rather than being rejected, banished, shouted down or ignored).

People don’t need you to be what you consider to be the ‘good guy’ or the ‘good girl’. They need you to be honest and to be yourself, even if it causes temporary upset. When you are honest and in integrity with yourself you 1. give others permission to do the same 2. take responsibility for yourself and therefore let others off the hook of taking care of you 3. create a stable and secure environment for yourself and those you love where everyone knows where they stand.