The blog
thoughts from me to you
Intention
Intention. It’s such a loaded word for me today. If my intention is unclear, does that mean I shouldn’t say anything? Should I keep my big mouth shut unless there’s only love coming out of it?
Impatience
I have been super impatient [in the past]. I wanted to get to where I thought my success was. I wanted to find peace in a future version of myself, because I thought that’s where it lived.
I took all the courses, gained all the qualifications, took the ‘right’ jobs, dated the ‘right’ guys (most of whom turned out to be completely wrong, of course) and looked for a new box to tick every time I checked off a different one and found I wasn’t where I wanted to be yet.
Love is a whole body experience
Love is a whole body experience. There is no such thing as a love which is conditional. That isn’t love. It’s control, and fear. If you’ve been ‘loved’ in a way that feels conditional, you’ll know what I mean. It doesn’t feel expansive and light and fun, it feels heavy, oppressive and addictive.
Sometimes honest is too honest
Sometimes honest is too honest. Sometimes the truth is too much. Sometimes it’s unnecessary…..when it comes to sharing.
We sometimes think that in order to validate our own truth, or to make it ‘real’ to us, we need to share it. We need to tell someone. I don’t think we do.
What is a relationship?
Relationship: it’s such a loaded word. We covet them. We fear them. We want a them to be ‘good’, and not ‘bad’. We search for them and then run away from them, all with the same underlying longing to love, and to be loved; to be a part of something bigger than ourselves, to grow and to be grown.
Why do we worry?
Why do we worry? Why do we think we don’t have enough time to accomplish all that we want to? Life is about relationships. Love a little more deeply. Smile a little more often. Laugh. Cry. Feel. Wake up and get honest with yourself. Then get honest with others. There is all the time in the world for that. Is the whole reason for your existence
I got this tattoo when I was in love with a man, who possibly never loved me back
I got this tattoo when I was in love with a man, who possibly never loved me back. I didn’t get it ‘for’ him; that would make me far too vulnerable, but I got it as a reminder. I’ve never told anyone the real reason.
A reminder that whoever comes into our lives, whether for a fleeting second to catch our eye, or into our bed for what seems like forever when time stands still, we are forever enmeshed with them.
In the infinity of time and space, that connection will always live on, long after you say your goodbyes and walk out of each others’ lives.
The lessons we can learn from that connection will keep coming, becoming intertwined with new connections, new loves, new feelings…and the energy will grow and morph and develop, and be forever with you.
Do not mourn for a connection that wasn’t as grand or long lasting as you expected – it has had the exact effect on you it was supposed to <3
The ‘knowing’ paradox…
The ‘knowing’ paradox… Starring at another blank page of a journal, willing some sort of clarity to formulate itself onto the pages, but…. nothing.
Sometimes it’s just SO frustrating to know that there’s time being wasted, watching Netflix…walking around in circles (literally), waiting for the magic moment that the Universe will choose to grace me with it’s presence and guide me to my next move.
I know I have to wait. I know the gift is in the waiting. I know that as I wait I’m still receiving, that if I could just drop into the sense of space, the peace I’d been missing would be there, all along.
Sometimes I resist the peace that’s there. Sometimes my ego wants it to be hard. If it was so easy all along, why I have struggled so much? Why didn’t I realise sooner? Why do I still not know all the things I want? Does being happy and content mean I no longer have ambition?
Why would holding on to the past make feeling peace in the present any easier?
Growing up it was all ambition – working hard, going places, being more than I was, achieving my potential. No-one ever told me what potential was though. I didn’t really know how a certain job, or car, or house, or husband would relate to whether or not I’d achieved what I was supposed to. What did it give you? Why were we trying to achieve this ‘potential’ thing? What came at the end of it?
Happiness? Peace? What was I really desiring?
We don’t have to know the plan. We don’t have to have it all figured out. The goal is peace. Peace can come in any moment, in any situation, in any dream, in any reality. The goal isn’t to ‘get’ somewhere to ‘achieve’ peace, the goal is to see that it’s already here, in the silence, in the pause between this thought and the next. “The light has come” [A Course in Miracles] – let the silence envelope you and the peace transform you.
Cont. in comments
Loving the painful bits
Loving the painful bits.
The dark side.
The anxiety.
The shame.
The worry.
The guilt.
… Loving even these parts.
Not because they’re any less than the good bits, and therefore it takes more strength or consciousness, and to do so means you’re a more enlightened being… Not because they help you grow… But because they are no different to the good bits.
They are just feelings.
Just passing experiences.
Just another opportunity to breathe love in to our lives.
Learning to look at every feeling as a gift, to receive it fully, to breathe it in, and love it, as it will never return again in the same form… Peace comes through love. Love comes through willingness. Willingness comes from any place, from any feeling, from any situation