So I know I talk about mindfulness a lot on this blog, and rightly so, it’s great, but sometimes I get so frustrated with being mindful I need to break ranks and do something crazy.
Sometimes, lovely people, I like to dream. Sometimes being present is hard. Sometimes it’s easier to get absorbed in to my imagination and my dreams of the different versions of reality I’d like to live.
Sometimes, it gets too hard missing people in my life that I retreat in to the safety of my memories. The times I remember too well. The times that I etched in to my memory to make sure if I ever wanted to remember I could.
Sometimes dreams are easier to handle than reality.
This might not be the best way to more forward with my life. It might not help me in creating new dreams and situations for myself, but it is comforting and safe, and sometimes the world is unfamiliar and scary and it helps.
Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder if I’ll ever feel satisfied with what I’m doing or whether it will ever be ‘enough’; for me, for my family, but mainly to keep me happy. Sometimes I sit and wish I had someone to tell me that everything is going to be OK, because I don’t always believe it when I tell it to myself.
You don’t always have to be a model person.
I don’t have to be at master at mindfulness to help you. I have to understand it. I have to live it. I have to be self-aware enough to know my own limitations. I have to be humble.
Don’t let pride or a sense of duty or ambition ever get in the way of allowing yourself to be vulnerable or less than perfect. You don’t have to be strong all the time. You can allow yourself to dream.
It is only by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable that we see what we need to grow.