So, surprise surprise, I succumbed to the lovely cold that’s been going around the whole of London over the last couple of weeks. To be fair,’succumbed’ is probably a bit strong (but what a lovely word it is…go on, say it…SAY IT!). More like I am sounding like a foghorn on a more regular basis than normal as I expel the disgusting crap that my nose seems to be making, whilst smelling like a eucalyptus tree.
ATTRACTIVE. I KNOW.
It also seems that there is a lot on the net about the dos and don’t of what to do when you’re ill. And I’ve got to be honest, a lot of it seems like utter bulls*&t.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. Therefore, a lot of the stuff on the net could actually be very useful to you. I’m aiming for whimsical humour rather than actual medical help.
So, having continued to lead an not-so-active and semi-happy life the past few days, here are my tips and tricks for what not to do when you’re ill.
1. Go out – You’re sick. You no doubt have spots from you being run down. You’re sniffing. People do not want to see you. If you value your friends, leave them alone and do not subject them to your suffering.
2. Exercise – Whoever said that this was a good idea was a superhuman freakazoid. In my humble, non medical opinion, when I am not 100% my body needs all the energy I give it through hots soups and junk food to get itself better. I therefore do not want to burn these calories off at the gym.
3. Be a martyr – Paracetamol was invented for a reason (actually, it might have been invented by accident, but that’s not my point). I’d rather not take it either but if I feel like crap I will do. Little bit of a snuffle? Suck it up for when it really hits. If you’re in bed and don’t feel like getting out of it, a little lemsip goes a long way.
4. Feel bad about staying in bed – the above being said, if your body’s telling you it needs to rest, how about you let it?! You don’t always have to push through the pain, sometimes giving your body time to heal is the quickest and most efficient way to feeling better.
5. Buy a takeaway thinking it will taste nice. It won’t. Your taste buds are all out of whack and anything you eat will taste either like cardboard or dishwater (solid food or soup). Don’t blame your mum or dad or sister or boyfriend or best mate. It’s not their fault. IT’S THE GERMS’. KILL THEM ALL!!!!
Goodness, I don’t know where all this knowledges pops out from sometimes!
Now that you know exactly what not to do when you are ill, snuggle up, keep warm, get some lemsip and junk food of choice, put on your favourite movie and have a duvet day, on me!
Happy Sunday!