The ‘knowing’ paradox… Starring at another blank page of a journal, willing some sort of clarity to formulate itself onto the pages, but…. nothing.
Sometimes it’s just SO frustrating to know that there’s time being wasted, watching Netflix…walking around in circles (literally), waiting for the magic moment that the Universe will choose to grace me with it’s presence and guide me to my next move.
I know I have to wait. I know the gift is in the waiting. I know that as I wait I’m still receiving, that if I could just drop into the sense of space, the peace I’d been missing would be there, all along.
Sometimes I resist the peace that’s there. Sometimes my ego wants it to be hard. If it was so easy all along, why I have struggled so much? Why didn’t I realise sooner? Why do I still not know all the things I want? Does being happy and content mean I no longer have ambition?
Why would holding on to the past make feeling peace in the present any easier?
Growing up it was all ambition – working hard, going places, being more than I was, achieving my potential. No-one ever told me what potential was though. I didn’t really know how a certain job, or car, or house, or husband would relate to whether or not I’d achieved what I was supposed to. What did it give you? Why were we trying to achieve this ‘potential’ thing? What came at the end of it?
Happiness? Peace? What was I really desiring?
We don’t have to know the plan. We don’t have to have it all figured out. The goal is peace. Peace can come in any moment, in any situation, in any dream, in any reality. The goal isn’t to ‘get’ somewhere to ‘achieve’ peace, the goal is to see that it’s already here, in the silence, in the pause between this thought and the next. “The light has come” [A Course in Miracles] – let the silence envelope you and the peace transform you.
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