Relationship

Relationship

Two quotes are really playing over and over in my head today. I’m not sure why, but I’ll share them with you anyway, for whoever needs them… “I am not here for your understanding of who I am. I am here for your understanding of who you are. I am your mirror. How you feel about me, what you see in me, the thoughts that arise from your encounter of me, the judgements you hold about me, are all reflections of you. They have nothing to do with me.” ― Emily Maroutian, Thirty: A Collection of Personal Quotes, Advice, and Lessons

And, “I am here only to be truly helpful. I am here to represent Him Who sent me. I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He Who sent me will direct me. I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me. I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal.” – A Course in Miracles, T-2.V.A.18

Humility

Humility

Last night in my coach training (which I’m currently taking between 10pm and 1am because of the time difference), we talked about being humble and curious when working with clients, and being more aware of our own judgements, bias and agenda.

Whenever I work with clients, I bring my whole self to the table. That doesn’t mean I share everything, but I am as transparent as possible, whilst recognising that the session isn’t about me – it’s about my client and what they’re experiencing. I don’t want to influence their knowing, understanding and insights in any way, just help them uncover them. I trust and know that only they know what is best for them.

And so, I am seeing so much affinity between what I’m (re)learning in my coach training, and what I understand from being a student and teacher of A Course In Miracles. When we can suspend our judgement, when we can recognise that we don’t know what anything is for, when we stop making meaning of things, or trying to make a situation fit into our version of what we want reality to be, we give ourselves the space for movement, for change, for feeling better, for feeling peaceful, for seeing through the eyes of love, instead of fear and ego.

I’m currently feeling into the best way to work with clients to get my logged coaching hours for accreditation (and whether this will be at a discounted rate). If you’re curious about working with me in a coaching capacity, where we can both learn and have profound growth, please send me a message and we can talk about how that might look.

Photo tb to Cornwall last March, cos I hear it’s pretty cold in the UK right now

Ritual

Ritual

I love watching the Balinese Hindus place their puja in the mornings around their statues, homes and businesses – offering their gods gifts and welcoming their presence. There is something so beautiful in the humble act of ritual offering, in acknowledging a belief system that brings you peace.

Today is Galungan in Bali – the start of a celebration honouring ancestors passed. As we drove around today, we saw everyone in their best white clothes, bringing their puja to their temples. Everyone smiling and happy. Later they will spend time with their families.

Maybe religion is not for you, but maybe there is something you do which brings you peace – making your morning coffee, yoga….whatever your ritual, I invite you to bring your whole, joyful awareness to it

Contrast

Contrast

Maybe it was possible to find peace without contrast. Maybe you found peace IN the contrast?

Maybe, as she experienced the edges of her comfort zone, it was possible to discover her peace, even in the midst of the discomfort, in the situations and experiences that scared her, brought out her desire to defend herself, or brought on a weariness that made her want to run away to the comfort of a life less interesting, and all together less inspiring.

Maybe that was the goal: not to be happy with everything, but to be able to find her centre, her own source of peace and comfort, even when faced with the random human challenges of day to day life?

My journey in Bali has only just begun, and yet it’s already pushed so many of my buttons; physically, emotionally and mentally. I am grateful for more opportunities to clear the blocks to love, despite how it feels at the time.

I have gone to sleep the last couple of nights with scary flashbacks every time I close my eyes, and feeling the most unsettled I’ve felt in a long time. So is the journey. So is the practice. I haven’t done yoga since I got here and my body felt it when I finally made one of the longest paddle outs ever this morning on my new board with half the volume I’m used to. And. I did it.
I spend my time chanting sanskrit mantras in my head when I’m riding my scooter because it terrifies me, and remind myself that all is well, and everything is as it should be, for my highest good.

I catch the stories I tell myself and the judgements I make about any and every situation, relax my shoulders, and breathe.

I am so far from having it ‘figured out’, and yet, I still find myself with faith, trusting that I’m in the right place, being of the most service to my clients, and excited to start my ICF Coach training tonight thanks to the power of the internet, even in the remote corners of Bali. Whatever we learn individually, benefits the collective

Enlightenment

Enlightenment

I don’t believe in becoming ‘enlightened’. I don’t believe that one person is more ‘woke’ than another, or more conscious, or spiritually evolved or whatever you would like to call it.

That, to me, is spiritual bypassing. It’s putting yourself above another, or creating an idol of another, without recognising the oneness that is present in all of us. By saying, she’s on that level and I’m on this level, all we’re doing is creating the illusion of separateness, when most spiritual teachings speak of unity and oneness.

What I do see, is that we are all walking ourselves home, on our own journey, in our own unique and perfect way. It is not for us to judge if someone is ‘lost’ or ‘unconscious’. Maybe their ego is strong, but maybe that’s the journey their Higher Self chose for them. Maybe they don’t need us to interfere to help them ‘see the light’. Maybe, just maybe, they’re on the perfect path for them.

This year, I commit to trusting more. I commit to judging less, and knowing that everyone has their own sovereignty, and their own responsibilities, and that they know what they need to do for them. When people need help, or support, there will be a clear request for it, or an offer, given without expectation or strings. We can let people know we love them without needing to control or ‘guide’ them.
Loving without expectations. Reigning in our own egos and need to ‘help’ or rescue. This is the real lesson here

Choices

Choices

Sometimes she felt so guilty for feeling so overwhelmed because of the choices afforded to her. She could do anything, which she believed was the same for everyone, but she also BELIEVED she could do anything, so those choices became more tangible for her than perhaps those around her.
And yet, in the freedom of choice, sometimes came the overwhelming fear of making the RIGHT choice.
Sometimes she would stay stuck rather than make a decision, because she didn’t know where to start, and so, eventually, some of the options would be removed and she could make a smaller choice, often the decision to not make a decision, and choose to stay as she was.

This is not how she wanted to use her free will, her power of manifestation and her intuitive guidance. It felt like a waste, especially in the face of those who didn’t feel they had the same opportunities.

And so she took a deep breath, tuned in, put her trust in her own intuition and took responsibility for her freedom. It took courage to listen to her heart and feel what was right, but it felt lighter, and freer when she did, even if she didn’t know how she was going to make it happen.

That taking responsibility, coupled with having faith in being guided to what was best for her, ensured she was always able to move forward, and be grateful for her ability to manifest her dreams