How many times a day do you complain?
How many times have you let your negative feelings about someone or something get in your way?
Just before I started writing this post, I was sat on the train waiting for it to depart for Liverpool, my home town. I was so excited to see my friends and see a city I love and don’t get to spend enough time in.
I got slightly annoyed when I realised my seat faced backwards (I struggle writing backwards and get a bit travel sick), but I breathed and remembered I was supposed to be getting away for the weekend, not working!
Then, the two LOUDEST New Zealanders on the planet rocked up and plonked themselves down on the same table as me and proceeded to talk super loudly about anything and everything, IN THE QUIET CARRIAGE.
Now, you can imagine, I always book in the quiet carriage because I like the quiet. I like being able to read my book or work on blog posts in peace. I have no idea why people who travel together and want to talk book the quiet carriage too.
Oh, then I opened my sparkling water and it exploded everywhere. The Kiwis who had napkins on top of their croissants carried on talking whilst I rummaged in my bag for a pair of gloves to wipe the water up with.
All in all, I was feeling pretty hard done by, my previous high energy severely deflated.
Then I remembered one thing that I had been thinking only on the way to the station –
[Tweet “Perception is everything.”]
I could choose to let all these things get to me, or instead be grateful I bought my mac a protective skin for Christmas, I have headphones and can turn up Ed Sheeran and tune out the Kiwis…and I can open my laptop and have something to write about!
I know it seems super hard sometimes to shift the negative emotions, but I think sometimes you can get overwhelmed with the process.
Read that again: this is a process. It doesn’t happen magically overnight and you can’t overcome your mind in a second. If you start the process, you can get there, and it will get easier.
Right now, I’m chilled and loving writing this, blissed out despite the Kiwis and soggy seat.
I didn’t come by my Zen mind by accident. I purposefully cultivated it. I didn’t want to feel shit anymore.
I didn’t want to let people get to me.
I wanted to feel excited about life again.
I felt I deserved better.
It took a while for me to feel worthy of something better, but there was a little part of me that believed that and I held on to it for dear life.
Right now, you’re doing the best you can with where you are. Give yourself a break. When you’re ready to move forward, make a step.
I forgive myself.
Three of the most powerful words I’ve ever used. You may think these words are small: that words can’t change your life. I beg to disagree.
Next time you hear a negative thought pop up in your head, next time you feel less than great, identify the thought, and say the three magic words. If they feel really inauthentic to you, perhaps because deep down you’re not ready to forgive yourself, use ‘I am open to forgiving myself’. In time, ‘I forgive myself’ will feel OK and you can switch.
Keep doing it. Keep doing it until it’s automatic. Every hour, check in with yourself and your mind.
I promise you – this one small thing will change your life. Trust the process and give yourself permission to feel differently.
I really want to help you do this and stick with it, so please get in contact if you want some more support, or if you haven’t already, sign up for all the blog posts delivered right to your inbox, or follow me on Instagram for regular inspiration.
