I’ll let you in on a secret, I used to live my entire life in fear. Of course back then I called in anxiety. It was the ‘in’ word at the time. I was anxious about everything – work, chores, friends, boyfriends, family, food, even minor changes to plans would have me hyperventilating in the bathroom hoping no-one would notice the weirdo freaking out because we were going to a different restaurant.
When you’re scared, fearful, nervous, anxious…whatever, you can be left in a crippling state of indecision. What I now realise was fear, left me unable to live my life fully.
When you’re in that constant state of fear, as I’ll now call it, you sometimes don’t even realise there’s any other feeling. Peace feels like an impossible milestone to reach, or you simply don’t know it exists. Normal, for you, is fearful. Doesn’t everyone feel this way?
It took me years and years to figure out how to let go of fear, and it still gets to me every now and then, but I’m able to correct it much more easily than I used to be able to.
There are hundreds of techniques for getting rid of fear, but for me, what worked was a combination of mindfulness, meditation and lots of little shifts in perception. I talk about mindfulness a lot but rarely use the word anymore, mainly because it’s become so popular, but the premise is solid.
We get anxious because we’re worried about what the future holds, even though it hasn’t yet arrived yet. That means, right now, we’re scared of images which only exist in our heads. Like being afraid of the monster under the bed when you were a kid. It doesn’t exist, but it feels like it does.
The breath is an incredible tool for mindfulness and anxiety. I encourage you to spend at least a couple of times a day, for ten seconds or so, coming back into your body and focusing all your attention on to your breath and how your body feels. In this moment, there is no need to fear. You are alive, you are breathing, and your spirit is one with the Universe.
If you want to go deeper, the other thing that really helped me stay present and release fear was the knowledge that my soul was part of the energetic whole. My body is simply a vessel for me to use whilst I’m here, to do my work and share love with the world. Ultimately we are all connected and we are all energetic beings. Knowing this, I know that whatever happens in this physical world doesn’t affect my soul.
You are not your body, you have control of your mind, and you are pure energy. Focus on your breath and stay present.
It takes time to retrain your brain, but keep going and you will see more moments of light and less moments of darkness. The balance will tip.
