One of the biggest things I’ve committed to and have been navigating this last year or so is holding myself to a higher standard and to be the best version of myself that I can be. I guess this has been and will be a lifetime commitment for me, but this last year it has involved surrounding myself with more people who inspire and encourage me to be the best version of myself by holding me accountable but also by being a living example of someone who is holding themselves to those same high standards.
I’m not talking here of awards or materialistic measures of success (although it could look like that), but more the ethical, moral and spiritual choices we make to be kinder, more loving, less judgemental and more compassionate beings towards ourselves and others.
This has been really expansive and fun in the main, and I can tell you that being around people who inspire you is a great way to up-level your life in every way. The darker side of this is letting go of people who by all accounts are fun to be around and who I have shared history with, but who are just not showing up in a way that feels in integrity for me and how I want to show up now.
This doesn’t come from a place of judgement (I’m FAR from perfect), it’s more about figuring out what’s right for me at this time. Simply, if I don’t feel OK with how this person is treating themselves or someone else, how do I continue to spend time with them pretending it isn’t happening or isn’t indicative of how they view themselves, others and the wider world?
We can continue to segregate ourselves and take an individualistic stance – they haven’t done anything to me, so it’s nothing to do with me and we can remain friends – or we can recognise that how someone treats others, and themselves, is a representation of their alignment with their own loving energy. If you want to be more loving and kind, you cannot bypass and ignore any unkind or unloving behaviours from the people in your life.
That’s not to say we just cut and run, or try to change people, it’s more just an invitation to be aware of the kind of energy we want in our lives and spaces, by whom we want to be influenced, and how social condoning of unkind and unloving judgements and behaviours affects how we show up in the world and our own sense of integrity.
Sometimes we can’t or won’t let go of relationships with people who do not inspire us to be better. For them, we can hold the high watch and do our best anyway. The best way to do that is to increase the circle of support around you with people who lift you up and challenge the standards.