This week I will start my official part-time working week, allowing me to actually get some sleep and see more clients on my terms. For this I am super excited and super grateful.
Having upped the ante the past couple of weeks, I noticed something about the people I work with (both in business and through therapy). The people who move fastest and improve their situation in the least amount of time are those who listen rather than talk.
You’re probably thinking at this point, ‘Hey Em, isn’t that kinda the point of therapy – that people get a whole session to spill their guts?’.
You’re absolutely right. What I do does give people the chance to talk about their feelings in a safe space.
What a lot of people miss however, is the ability to listen to themselves.
Do you have an identity story? A story which, when asked (hopefully by someone kind and willing to listen, not the guy at the coffee shop who’s customer service script followed, ‘How are you today?’ with, ‘Well that’s great. What can I get you?’) you launch into blindly, not really thinking about what you’re saying, because you’ve been through all this before: you know your issues?
This script tends to become part of our identity. The pity me story that explains what a terrible childhood you had or how you’ve had the worst luck with guys or you’ve got a horrible boss and if she only gave you a chance you’d be CEO before you knew it.
You may have had a tonne of horrible experiences or set backs, and I am not for a second saying they’re not valid. But nor do they identify you to the rest of the world.
When was the last time you stopped to think about your story in the context of now? When was the last time you listened to yourself?
Everything that has happened in your past has led you to now. How many things in your life are you grateful for now? These things might not be there without the other stuff.
Take a moment to listen to your heart, or your soul and see if your story needs updating.