Being supportive

I often talk to clients about the difference between enabling and supporting loved ones. I’ve had to learn this lesson myself, many times.

We cannot take responsibility for anyone other than ourselves. We must learn to trust the ones we love to do what is best for them, even if that looks destructive to us.

Obviously is there is immediate risk of harm we do what we need to do to keep people safe, but as any addict knows all too well, no-one changes until they’re ready to, and often the people “helping” keeping them above water in the meantime only serve to perpetuate the behaviours which ultimately cause harm.

When you love and support someone AND they find enough love within themselves to make small steps towards healing, THAT is when the magic happens. You try to do it all for them and all you’re showing them is that you don’t trust them to be able to do it for themselves.