Are you being genuine? Or are you acting out a part; being who you think people want you to be?

This is a question I’ve found myself asking a lot recently. I’m sure we’ve all done it before – talked ourselves up at interviews, put on a slightly posher ‘telephone’ voice. What I want to know is WHY?


As Hitch said ”You’ is a very fluid concept right now.’

But maybe we do need to ask a few questions of ourselves….

How is this fake us any better than the real us? What do they have that we don’t?

For me, it’s the feeling that I have a lot of different roles in my life, with very different people to please, so I need to emphasise different parts of me depending on who I’m with.

Is this selling out? Is it not being genuine? It’s definitely something that crosses my mind, and when it does I ask myself the following things:

  • Is this a part of me anyway? Or is this completely different to how I am when I’m on my own? If this is a part of me anyway, and I’m just playing it up a bit and others down, depending on who I’m with, then, generally, I’m OK with this. What I’m not OK with is being a completely different person, going against the grain, being a way that’s totally alien to my sense of self and identity. This only every leads to self doubt.
  • How does it feel to BE this way? Uncomfortable? Then sack it off – really – if it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t and people will be able to tell it’s not the real you anyway.
  • What’s wrong with regular you? Seriously – is the real you so terrible that you have to be someone else? If the real you appeared right now what’s the worst that could happen? Would everyone drop dead in shock? Would they look at you differently? Maybe they might, but would you rather be accepted and appreciated for being you, or being someone else? Are you really being accepted if you’re not presenting yourself genuinely?

I know how hard it can seem sometimes not to play into a role, but when I’ve taken the time to be me, I’ve found that actually, the people I end up spending my time with, are the people that really ‘get’ me, and I’m much happier spending my time with them than I was when I was trying to be something I wasn’t.

Baby steps – emphasise some qualities, downplay others, but don’t deny their exisitence, they’re part of what made you you, and you is unique…and beautiful.