At the end of last year, I got a new tattoo. It’s my second and may very well be my last. Anyone that’s ever had the pleasure of sitting on a squeaky PVC leather chair whilst some scary dude jabs a needle filled with black ink in to your skin repetitively, and you pay him for it, knows that most people never end up with just one. We’ll see.
This tattoo meant a lot to me, not just because of the needling. This tattoo is a permanent reminder that everything is transitory.
We all want to hold on to the things and people we love. Sometimes that isn’t possible, and sometimes it’s actually better that we don’t.
Change is one of life’s fixtures. No matter what, you can guarantee that the tighter you hold on to something, the more the world will continue spinning, and eventually leave you behind.
I hate change.
Learning something new or meeting new people can be tough, but what if there’s something better than you could even imagine right now waiting for you to get the balls to find it?
Wow. That sounds like such a cliché. Having said that, I’ll always remember one particular sentence that a great friend (who I’m no longer so much in touch with) said to me after a particularly emotional break up. He said, ‘If he’s not the one, it just means that there’s someone even better out there for you who you haven’t even met yet.’
I think I told him to go f&*k himself at the time. I’m nice to my friends like that. But he forgave me and I have always remembered that line. There’s always something to be taken from your experiences, good or bad, strong or weak, and if you don’t see it, that’s where the mindfulness comes in.
What if whatever’s going on in your life right now sucks? What if you don’t care about the stupid lesson you just want the good old status quo back?
Take the hit and find your own meaning. What’s the alternative: shrivel up and die?
I’m not about to sit here and say that the horrible tragedies in the world are all gifts for us to learn from. I don’t have answers for them I’m afraid. Then again, I’m not God so maybe I shouldn’t be apologising. What I do know, is that people and situations come in to our lives so we can have experiences. Good experiences and bad experiences. Experiences that teach us what we like and what we don’t, how to behave and how not to behave, and ultimately, how we can make ourselves happy.
If someone or something makes you happy, make sure you figure out why.
This is one of the most important lessons I’ve ever learnt. If you know how to be happy, you can transfer that to any time or place, and make choices to but yourself in a better position to be happy.
And what if this all seems a little daunting?
Momentum is a must – but mindfulness stops you tripping over your feet and head-butting the front of the treadmill and making everyone around you feel super awkward ‘cos they don’t know whether to help you or burst out laughing.
Get on your metaphorical treadmill and start walking. You won’t know where you’re going or even why you’re going there, but you can enjoy what crosses your path on the way and take meaningful time to figure out what you need, what makes you happy and what doesn’t.
I want to hear from you – name one thing or element of a relationship that makes you happy, lightens your mood or makes you smile?
P.S. The tattoo is the infinity symbol on my left foot, just in case you were wondering!