I came across the quote above (by Emily Maroutian – sorry it cuts off on some screens!) the other week when I really needed what A Course in Miracles calls a ‘miracle’: I needed a shift in perspective. I needed to understand and accept emotionally, not just intellectually, that whatever was going on with other people was just not my concern. The shift I got when I received this miracle was profound, so I’m sharing it here with you. Whatever is going on outside of yourself right now: it’s simply not your concern.

The biggest realisation for me this week was that I didn’t need to take a stand on everything. I don’t need to have an opinion on everything. Somebody may be behaving in a despicable way, or somebody may be doing something I think is wrong, but that doesn’t mean that when I hear about it I need to have an emotional response. It’s not your concern, or mine. The concern, if they choose to accept it, lies solely with the person taking the action. When I realised that I didn’t have to have this huge emotional response, feeling so indignant and outraged at someone’s awful behaviour (because that’s what we do right? If we hear someone’s done something awful and we shrug it off with, ‘that’s not my concern’, it makes US a bad person, doesn’t it?!) I felt an immediate and huge sense of relief.

I want to go back to this idea that if we don’t have a negative reaction to hearing about something bad, it makes us bad too (or heartless, or uncaring….or whatever). WHY?! Why are we made into bad people because we don’t want to take responsibility and pour negative emotions into our bodies because of something someone else has done? How does that then become our fault and our problem? It doesn’t. And you don’t have to. In fact, I highly encourage you not to.

‘That’s not my concern, it’s their choice and I’m choosing not to get involved in the drama because it ends up upsetting me’, is a perfectly valid and understandable position to take.

Someone else’s actions have NOTHING to do with you and are not your responsibility. What we see is a mirror to our souls, so figure out what’s triggering YOU, do your inner forgiveness work but stop thinking that your outrage or negative emotion is justified  because of someone else’s actions. Take a judgment detox and realise that whatever you’re holding onto is not creating a peaceful inner state for you. This is true not just for the bad stuff, but the good, too. Buddhism teaches us to be less attached to things, situations and feelings and go with the flow a bit more. Everything changes and by holding on to anything we will inevitably cause ourselves pain because we’re resisting the natural flow of nature and the universe.

The flip side of this of course is to remember that whilst other people are a mirror for our internal state, how we are perceived by others is also a mirror for their internal state, so whatever they think of you, is really none of your business, it’s their internal stuff, so let them clean up their side of the street, whilst you clean up yours.

Above all, if you’re struggling with holding on to stuff, over-analysing, re-hashing the past and getting way too emotionally involved in others’ decisions, ask for the miracle; pray for the change in perception from fear to love and acknowledge that you can let it go. It’s not your concern and you don’t need to have an opinion on it.

If you want to read up on this sort of stuff, I recommend Melody Beattie’s work, or schedule a free session with me to see how we might work together. I love hearing from you too, so please do email me or write on my Facebook wall!