Last week I attended a workshop with Gabrielle Bernstein all about judgment, or, more specifically, how to not judge. It was so inspiring and I always love spending (virtual) time in Gabby’s presence and learn so much from her. Everyone who attended has committed to a forty day Judgment Detox, and I think I’ve probably fallen off the wagon approximately 534 times already.
Judgment is a really sucky emotion. It literally sucks your energy from you and leaves you in a place of weakness and general bad vibes, yet for some reason, we walk around all day judging people, and not just other people, sometimes the ones that get the brunt of the attack is us. We judge ourselves constantly. I was driving to a friend’s yesterday and almost got taken off the road by a young guy driving way too fast. We managed to stop and I said something to him along the lines of ‘drive more slowly next time!’. I judged him instantly, but in all honesty I was probably driving too fast myself and in that moment of complete fear when another car was hurtling towards me (there are lots of single track lanes where I live), I went straight into fear and defensiveness and lost myself there for a minute. Afterwards, I was beating myself up for judging the other person, and also beating myself up for going into fear mode. It wasn’t the brightest or most positive of places to be!
The ego thinks our best defence against all the bad things we perceive in the world is to judge them; make them out to be ‘bad’ or ‘evil’ and to then judge ourselves for not being good enough, smart enough, clever enough, pretty enough, brave enough or streetwise enough to survive in this terror filled world. Judgment consumes us.
By now I’m sure you’ve had a think and become a little more aware of how judgmental you may have been in the past, or maybe even how you’re judging yourself (or me) right now. This awareness is the first step to overcoming the littleness (as A Course in Miracles calls it). As with all negative thought patterns, when we shine a light on the darkness, the darkness has no choice but to disappear and become light.
I’m going to come back to my favourite mantra (courtesy of Gabby – thanks Gabby!) here, because when we’re in that place of fear and judgment, it’s really hard to think your way out of it, so I’m not going to ask you to. You don’t have to. When you find yourself relying on your own strength it’s a sure sign you’ve stepped away from the strength of the Universe. So when you become aware that you’re judging yourself or someone else, just keep repeating, ‘I forgive myself and I choose to see this with love.’ In that moment, you allow into your life the miracle. In that moment, you create a window for love to shine in and release you from fear’s judgment. I’m not going to lie, most of us are in the judgment cycle pretty deep, so it may take many attempts and some time to release the judgment but the important thing here is that we’re open to releasing it. The Universe will do the rest.
Allow yourself the freedom that releasing judgment brings. Imagine how liberating it would be to judge nothing that occurs; to see with compassion; to see the other person as you; to allow their actions to be their actions and know that it doesn’t have to affect you. I know that might seem like an impossible feat right now but nothing is impossible, it’s just a case of continued practice. Just be open to the possibility of a non-judgmental world and see what happens for you.
I’d love to hear how you’re getting on with releasing yourself from judgment and forgiving yourself and others – comment below or join me in my private coaching group on Facebook (it’s free!).