I spend a lot of time writing on here about how most of the time we get in our own way and how we need to push ourselves, take risks and move forward; only then will we give ourselves the much needed confidence boost to know we can do it.
What I probably haven’t said enough is that sometimes it is best to be cautious.
Sometimes your gut tells you something for a reason – not because it’s scared or thinks you’ll fail, but because actually that move isn’t right for you at that time.
Being nervous of a new venture or step is quite normal and this nervousness is probably you’re own self doubt trying to creep in and bite you on the ass before you even get started (because it’s better to hate your life but never have failed at anything – right?!).
3 ways to tell if it’s self sabotage (and you should ignore it):
- You find yourself doing pro’s and con’s lists (and invariably find more con’s than pro’s)
- You still feel excited by the step/project and feel it’s the ‘right’ choice.
- You find yourself surrounded by people telling you what you want to do isn’t possibly and you sort of like them telling you that (because it’s an easy out).
On the other hand, there’s you gut, your inuition – the thing deep down inside of you that will genuinely tell you if something is right or not for you at the time. This part of you is subtle, it will nudge you gently, present you with alternative opportunities or give you ‘signs’ your choice is correct.
This is the part you want to listen to.
3 ways to tell it’s your intuition (and you should listen to it):
- When you imagine having made the decision, you get a sense of relief (however scary it still might be) from having made it.
- Things seem to just ‘happen’ to help the situation move forward in a certain direction – you get a feeling you’re ‘on the right path’.
- You know you could do it, but it just feels wrong at the moment (note wrong – not scary).
Next time you have to make a big decision; whether it’s what to do about a relationship, what your next career move is or whether to take that cute little puppy your friend bought but couldn’t cope with off her hands, do a self-check and see who’s talking to you.
Is it the part of you that wants everything to stay safe and the same, or the part of you that wants you to grow and make mistakes and learn and flourish?