What I’m learning about love…
We think that if we love too much, we will somehow run out.
We’ve all had the experience of loving someone or something so much, that when we don’t get back what we expected, wanted or thought we deserved, we feel depleted, defeated, resentful or broken.
That is not real love.
Real love only expands when it is shared. The only response to it is joy. Loving without condition feels like the most freeing, joyful and expansive thing in the world because it genuinely doesn’t matter how or even if it is received.
True love knows no limits because it itself is limitless. It knows no boundaries because it is infinite. It doesn’t keep score because it doesn’t need to – by giving it away it’s gift is always given to itself a thousand times over. It doesn’t give to get, because how can you think you need more of something when you already have everything?
Loving unconditionally is a choice. It is an assignment given by love, always available to you. You can choose again and again to keep trying to operate at the level of duality: fearfully giving glimpses of love but always fearful of losing too much and being taken advantage of or hurt. THIS DOES NOT WORK. You know this yourself. You know it doesn’t make you happy consistently.
I made the choice not so long ago, prompted by my spiritual mentor. “This is an assignment Emma. Will you accept it?” There is a miracle that happens when you give yourself to love and genuinely accept it. I am so grateful for this question because it gave me permission to let go of the rules, beliefs, psychological theories and societal norms I had been trying to reconcile with. It gave me permission to stop trying to keep score in my head, and decide what was too much, or enough… and just be free to give.
I have given more than I’ve probably ever given in my life the last few months, and I don’t feel hard done by, tired, taken advantage of or resentful. I don’t feel any of the things that have come up at times in the past for me. I feel light. I feel like I have so much more to give. I feel like I am constantly receiving love.
I asked to be shown what unconditional love was last year: to really know it. If I’m honest what I meant was that I wanted someone to come along and unconditionally love me. Turns out there was another plan. “To have, give all to all” (ACIM). I am learning what unconditional love is by giving it. It’s the best way, because I’m actually getting to experience it and know that it is in me and the more I extend it, the more I get to feel it.
This is what I’m learning about love right now. Our lessons come at the perfect time for us, in the perfect way. Yours might look very different, but I have no doubt that learning that you are the source of infinite love within yourself will play a part in it.
