A lot of the stuff I read about following your dreams gives you the same advice – dream big or go home.
I bought in to this for a long time. Or maybe I misunderstood it. I dreamt big. I had big ideas. I wanted to do so much. I read everything I could. I researched. I planned. Then I….didn’t do a lot.
You see, the problem with dreaming big is that there’s an assumption that you have to also act big.
So I had my big dream, I’d done my research, then I got stuck. Then I had absolutely zero idea how to get from A to Z.
What normally happens at this point is that you either give up and decide you were never meant to dream big (‘Why was I stupid enough to think I could do this, obviously I’m not good enough / strong enough / clever enough / confident enough”) or you decide that you didn’t have the right dream, so you go back and find another big dream and repeat the whole frustrating process over and over again.
You dream big, then get stuck with how to actually make it happen. It’s all very well having a great idea and reading about all these other super successful people who have ‘made it’ with lots of hard work and a bit of creativity and luck, but that doesn’t really help you, does it?
I fell in to this trap. People tell you it’s hard, but you don’t really believe them, because you don’t see the ‘doing’ – you see A (I had nothing, I had hit rock bottom and then all of a sudden I had an epiphany and realised what I had to do) and Z (Now look at me – it was hard work but it’s so amazing now!).
I have a dream of taking my work mobile, helping people through my own brand of counselling, hypnotherapy and yoga. It’s something I’m amazingly passionate about. I don’t quite know what the end picture will be but I have my outline, my big picture. When I started out on this I figured I could quit my full time job within six months to a year; other people had, why not me?
What I realised was that I’m not other people. I’m me. In order to take the first step on my journey, I moved to London and changed jobs to one I actually enjoyed. That threw a spanner in the works. It also meant I was a lot busier than I thought I would be so I couldn’t do as much ‘on the side’ as I wanted to. I probably could have done more but I wanted to enjoy living in London and spending time with my boyfriend and friends.
I see clients now when they come to me. I don’t market myself or advertise. This is a conscious decision because I know if I suddenly had an influx of new clients I couldn’t cope balancing work with dreams. I’m doing lots of things I love at the moment and that’s good for me and my clients. It works for the time being.
Back to the main point of this post – how to get from A to Z.
There are three elements to doing what you need to do once you’ve decided on a dream (if not, Marianne Cantwell is about to launch something that could really help you get clear on this if it’s work related):
- Break it down – you have to get to B before C. Work backwards from your dream and list all the different things you’d need to do and the different ways you could reach your goal. Make it realistic but don’t sell yourself short. Don’t commit to an extra 20hrs whatever a week when you already work 50hrs a week, it won’t happen and you’ll be disappointed. Take Baby Steps.
- Solution Focus your life – I did a post on this the other week with a questionnaire (which you could submit and get my personalised quality feedback for free if you so desired). Instead of focusing on the can’ts, shouldn’ts and don’t knows, have a look for the things you can do, what you’re already doing and the strengths and skills you never give yourself credit for. GO – Do the questionnaire now – you can com back to this page after!
- Celebrate your wins – This is SOOOOOOOOOO important. Did you do one thing about your dream today? Celebrate it. Shout it from the rooftop. You are following your dream. You dared to dream. You are awesome. You don’t have to achieve everything tomorrow. Take the small steps, the baby steps, the ones that aren’t so scary.
Don’t act big. THINK BIG – ACT SMALL.
If this sounds great but you’re not sure whether you have the motivation in you or support around you to actually keep going, don’t worry. This is where I come in.
I realised that it can be really intimidating on some of these websites to comment and let people know what you’re doing when it seems so small compared to the massive achievements everyone else is writing about.
I have news for you – all those achievements, they started with a Baby Step. When those people post, they are reading even bigger posts and news from other people, but they understand that they’re not the same as that person. They’re their own person , so they celebrate their own achievements, without comparing them to others.
In the coming weeks I will be starting a community dedicated to solution focus and celebrating baby steps. I’ll be posting the info on the website so keep checking back or sign up using the form on the right to ensure you don’t miss it!
My vision is to create a space where people can come and share their dreams, however big or small they are, and have a group of people in the same boat as them, scared, not sure where to start and feeling a little under confident having read and seen what else other people are doing. I want to hear your story. Other people want to hear your story. I want you to share your story so we can encourage you and help you and celebrate with you when you make a Baby Step.
Those of you who follow me on twitter might have seen my #TodayI posts recently. I’ve been tweeting my little wins daily. They’re not big or clever but it’s my way of congratulating myself. Every day I move forward one Baby Step. Why not join me? Tweet your Baby Steps at me with the hashtag TodayI and I can celebrate with you.
It’s nice to have someone in your corner. I want to be in your corner.
Have an amazeballs Sunday.
Thing big, act small is such a brilliant message. For years I was stuck – gazing longingly at my big dreams and not having a clue how to get there. Then, like you, I had an epiphany and started taking teeny tiny steps. I still have a long way to go but at least I have the comfort of knowing I am now MOVING in the right direction. Being stuck and not taking action is a horrible, frustrating feeling. Thing big, act small is definitely the way to go!
Thanks for your message and good to hear from you again! Yes – for ages I was beating myself up for not ‘taking the leap’ then I realised that the baby steps lead to bigger changes, one day at a time. As my yoga teacher always said, ‘everyday [in yoga] is different’. Do what you can today and in a week or a month or a year you’ll have added up a considerable shift. 🙂