Dear Emma,
I know you’ve always had a problem with making decisions. Ever since you can remember you’ve been too scared to make a decision, in case it’s the wrong one. Your parents tried to protect you by making decisions for you, and whilst, yes, it kept you safe, it did nothing to grow the confidence you needed to make decisions on your own.
When you’re growing up it can feel like every decision you have to make could be life-changing. Who to be friends with, what to wear, which subjects to choose and who to date. It’s not even about what or whom you like, it’s about making a strategic decision for your social survival. I get it. It was tough. Often you [your parents] made the ‘wrong’ decisions and you were made fun of, or got hurt. It happens. You learn from it. You grow.
Even though in the last seven years or so you’ve started making your own decisions, the process still feels so scary sometimes. Each decision feels so….permanent. If it doesn’t work out, what will you do? You’ll have to backtrack or redirect and risk looking stupid; like you didn’t know what you were doing in the first place (which you didn’t).
I want you to know that there’s no shame in changing your mind. No decision is ever permanent (you can even change the meaning behind that tattoo you got for your ex if you want) and no decision is ever really wrong or right.
Each decision you make is made with the knowledge, trust and understanding you have right now, in this moment. That means it can only ever be a good decision. What a lot of people, including you, have failed to realise sometimes is that it’s all OK. You make a decision from where you are. You make it because it’s what you need at that point in time. Maybe you need it because it will be wonderful, or maybe you need it because it will teach you a lesson your soul needs to learn. Maybe you’ll have a great time with that decision or maybe you’ll be hurt and cry and throw things.
Either way, it’s OK, and it will be OK.
So this is your permission slip, Emma. This is the permission you need to make decisions and not be scared of changing your mind; of going in a completely different direction, no matter how far you’ve gone along a particular path. No matter how far you’ve gone, if it doesn’t feel right anymore, you can change it. You’ve learned what you needed to learn and whatever money or earthly investment you’ve made has been worth it.
Take a leap of faith, and consciously follow your heart.
Love, light and blessings,
Emma x
