Choosing not to be judgmental is a pretty tall order, especially when there are so many crappy situations out there in the world today. So how is your #judgmentdetox going?!

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve had my buttons pushed a LOT. I’ve heard about some despicable behaviour going on locally, with people I care about, without even venturing out into the wider world, war and American politics. I have to tell you, my judgment went into overdrive for a minute there, with me feeling utterly disgusted with certain behaviour. How can we see people doing bad things, and not judge them for it? Is that even possible?

Let me try to reframe this for you. When I was feeling all that disgust, I felt pretty crappy myself. I thought about the injustice of it all and the hurt that was being caused and how I couldn’t do anything to stop it, and I judged myself for even getting involved. How do you feel when you realise you’re in judgment? When you’re bad mouthing someone or something, how does it feel for you? I’m guessing not great, right?

That’s what I realised in these moments of judgment…that all I was doing was adding more negative energy to a toxic situation, with my outrage at the situation, I was only making matters worse. The alternative however, can often feel like condoning the bad situation or behaviour. If we don’t judge it, if we don’t say or do something, aren’t we as good as saying it’s OK?!

This is where it gets a little tricky, because this is where we need to get out of our ego mindset and get to a place of compassion. We are aiming to see this person’s behaviour as coming from a place of fear, as a call for love (in whatever warped way it appears). It doesn’t make it right. It doesn’t make it acceptable. It doesn’t even always make it understandable. You may never reach a point of humble forgiveness, but you can try, for your sake and everyone else’s.

So right now, check in and see where you’re judging. Forgive yourself for getting sucked into that vicious cycle of negative energy, and choose to see the situation from a loving perspective. Say the words (aloud or in your head), ‘I choose to see this differently.’ Keep doing it. Just be open to the idea of seeing things from a more loving perspective. You don’t have to love the person, but recognise that they’re triggering something in you, and use that as a tool for self-growth.

I really want to help more people work through judgment and the pain associated with it – if you’re struggling letting go of something please connect with me on Facebook or email me. Let’s talk through your situation and see how I can help (no sales pitches – guaranteed).