It’s all very well when things are going great to get all giddy and excited. It’s human nature. Positivity breeds more positivity.
But what happens if you’re somewhere negative? What if you’re around negative people or what if you yourself let negativity creep in, in whatever form? If you’re wanting to move forward with your life, take that next big step, but something’s holding you back, normally, I’m sorry to say, it’s you.
Please don’t take this as a criticism, because that’s really not what it’s meant to be. It’s actually a conclusion I came to recently myself.
My work is great, I really enjoy it – it’s challenging and engaging; I work with great people and I get to figure out what’s going on in peoples’ heads and get paid for it. On the flip side, it never seems to relent. It’s busy and demanding and stressful. I therefore have to be very careful where I focus my attention. After a long day, if it falls to the negatives, it’s very easy to slip in to a bit of a funk and generalise out from that space.
So I can personally bring my own negativity to the party, but I can also blame others. How often have you thought to yourself, ‘wow, that person’s so negative, why do they have to bring me down like that?’.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – it’s all about the thought process. It’s not easy, but it is possible.
‘But how?’ I hear you ask?!
1. Have a go to happy place or thought. You know how actors have a thought they use to get them to cry on demand? The same works the other way. get a single thought, memory or ‘happy place’ that always makes you feel better when you think of it, and use it consistently.
2. Make yourself an anchor. That great feeling you have when you think of that happy thought…anchor it. It’s an old NLP trick but it works brilliantly and it’s really easy to do.
Get the feeling
Make it bigger and better, more and more vivid
Pinch your thumb and forefinger together (or whatever finger, pinch your arm etc)
Release & repeat
Test – pinch and bring back that feeling
Keep practising it!
3. Focus on your thoughts. Simply bringing your awareness to what you are thinking can dramatically affect what you are thinking about. Maybe you’re not even realising your thoughts are heading in a negative direction, becoming more aware of them can really help your own self awareness. Watch your thoughts. Monitor them. Change them if necessary. Look for the silver lining.
OK – so that’s three things you can do. Go away, try it, and see how it works for you!