I was thinking this afternoon about what might hold someone back from doing something big and scary and the only thing I could come up with was this…


But as I started to think about this, I realised that to hold you back, you have to have a certain view of what failure is.

There is a common phrase in NLP which is ‘there is no such thing as failure, only feedback’.

I think I’ve talked about it before but I love it so much I’ll probably keeping harking on about it for a while yet!

You see, in order to ‘fail’ you need to know what failure means for you.

Does it mean losing your home, all your money and your family and friends? Or, would failing for you mean not getting that promotion – feeling a little embarrassed or having to take a step back and re-think your options?

There’s a big difference between the first and second options isn’t there?

So really – what are you classing as failing?

If, like me not so long ago (and still a little bit now), you’re harbouring a secret fear of getting a bit embarrassed, which is actually causing you to think you couldn’t possibly even try to take the next step forward, it might be time to take a step back instead and re-evaluate exactly what that means.

Let’s imagine for a bit that you did something really ‘out there’; like going for that promotion, buying a house or blowing your savings on going travelling….

What’s the worst thing that could happen – realistically (because, let’s face it, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, but it doesn’t stop you leaving the house)?

Would you end up really hurting someone you cared about or losing the roof over your head?

If the answer’s yes – then maybe you need to look at other options, or at least way up the real risk of that happening, but more than likely, the answer to the above question was no.

In that case – what’s really stopping you?

In our society today, I’ve come to realise we seem to place way too much importance on being ‘successful’. If something doesn’t work out as planned, so what? Figure out why it went wrong, and don’t to it again, figure out a way to do it better and do that instead.


If you really take this to heart, you will find yourself doing more than you ever thought possible, because you’re not as worried about failing, because you’re put ‘failing’ in to perspective.

What are you no longer scared to do?

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