I posted a story the other day that said something like ‘HAVE SOME FU*KING INTEGRITY’. I don’t know how many people clicked the post to read the second slide, but in any case I thought I’d expand on it here.

One of the most important things you can do for your mental health, your peace and the mental health and peace of everyone around you is to cultivate a habit of honesty and openness.

I know it sounds simple and impossible at the same time, and maybe it even feels like it wouldn’t have that big an impact. It will. I might even say it will have the biggest impact of any work you do on yourself ever, and work miracles in your relationships.

When I say be honest, I don’t mean walk up to someone and be mean or aggressive, I mean stop holding back your judgements and trying to keep secrets. If you think something or say something to someone else that you wouldn’t say to their face it’s a judgement and perpetuates the use of a lot of energy to try to keep all the thoughts and opinions in the right boxes in your head without upsetting or offending anyone.

Think how free you would feel if you could just be honest all the time. Again, I don’t mean no filter, just becoming aware of your thoughts and finding room to bring them out and let them go. Maybe that’s telling the person or maybe it feels more loving to tell a confidante. It’s about recognising what you’re trying to keep separate (which means it holds some level of shame or guilt for you) and acknowledging it so it can be released. You might even say afterwards something like “and I’m giving up these attack thoughts and I choose peace instead of this”.

We are not separate. When you attack another with your judgements you attack yourself. When you hold stuff back you burden yourself. When you people please you prevent the other person from taking responsibility for their own life and feelings. Be honest. With yourself, and everyone around you. Maybe there will be some seeming fallout, but believe me when I tell you it will feel better in the long run, for everyone.