This week I sort of moved back in with my parents. At thirty-one years old. Into my childhood room, which I spent the whole of last weekend clearing out of fifteen years of accumulated memories and junk (in equal measure). To make room for a two-bed house’s worth of stuff to fit in. It’s going to be a gradual process.
Why, you ask yourself, would a grown woman who owns her own lovely house choose willingly to move back in with her parents?
Well, for a number of reasons, the details of which I won’t bore you with but:
I’m moving to Italy in January, so I’m renting my house out. In order to ensure it’s rented and I’m earning money by January, to pay for rent in Italy, it’s a good idea to rent it out before Christmas.
Also, my mum broke her ankle and is in plaster. Not fun for her, not fun for my dad or I. We have horses. My dad isn’t a ‘horse person’ (it’s a real thing – you either are or you aren’t…it’s a bit like a cult) so they’re down to me. Summer would have been a much easier season for this to happen but hey ho.
So yes, I moved back in with my parents because they need me right now, and it’s not a bad thing to rent out my house earlier and secure some extra money. There’s only one problem with moving back in with your parents after thirteen years on your own (and on their own)…personal boundaries. In short, you end up winding each other up no end.
When I was talking over the decision to move back in with a friend, she asked if I was sure I wanted to do it. I didn’t have to, it wasn’t really my responsibility after all, but no-one else was (or could) step up, and I didn’t mind. I was worried however. For some reason, completely unbeknownst to me, I seem to trigger people sometimes. I think it’s because I remain so calm and this can sometimes come across as uncaring. It’s not. I just choose to live as much in the moment as I can and not let things stress me out. Life’s too short. You know that annoyingly serene person in the midst of a crisis you just want to shake and shout, ‘Don’t you care?!!’ Yep, that’s me.
You might think I’m mad putting myself completely in the line of fire with two very stressed out people who love me enough to let their true feelings out all over the place around me, but I get the feeling that the Universe conspired to set me a challenge. With moving to Italy I know I won’t see half as much of my parents as I’d like next year, so it would be great if we were able to clear up any residual tension and create a much stronger foundation for our relationship before I go away.
A Course in Miracles teaches us that every single interaction is an opportunity for a sacred connection and a learning experience. We can bring love in to every interaction, it just depends on our choosing. So I’m here. I’m seeing this as a huge learning opportunity and I’m open to having the Universe support me completely whilst I learn to show love, even when I feel like screaming….I’ll keep you posted 🙂
Are you avoiding any interactions with people who trigger you? Sometimes it’s for the best but sometimes it might just help if you can use the relationship to help you both grow by choosing to allow love in. Give it a go and let me know how you get on in the comments!