Perhaps, she realised, it wasn't about the boundaries that everyone kept going on about, it was about knowing within herself who she was and what she wanted. Maybe, when she knew who she was and what she needed, wanted and desired, it would be easier to ask for those things, instead of expecting others to magically figure it out or demanding them agressively so they felt attacked. Perhaps, when you opened up, others felt safer to open up too. Perhaps, when you took responsibility for how you felt, rather than telling someone else they were wrong, it gave space for constructive discussion, rather than defensiveness and distance. Perhaps, by learning about her own triggers, and healing them, she was able to better show up in the relationship, instead of placing blame or staying in victim mode. Perhaps, it wasn't about being too much, it was about showing up as herself, and seeing who came to the table to meet her